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last month, on 27022010, and in my 29 weeks of pregnancy to be exact, tingkeban ceremony was held in our parents' house in jakarta. tingkeban ceremony, also known as mitoni or nujuh bulanan, was done as prayers and rituals are meant to keep the pregnancy safe til the mother give birth to the baby. our tingkeban--which was held in yogyakarta style--was truthfully, a very exciting experience for me, for i've never watch any tingkeban ceremonies before... and now when i saw it for the first time, it was me as the main actress!! teehee... ^^ and the differences from the rituals held during the wedding, tingkeban ain't that serious--it was mooore fun, exactly.
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some of the ritual offerings--in indonesian; sesajen
the first of all interesting things in tingkeban ceremony for me were the ritual offerings. there are more than 30 kinds of ritual offerings!! and most of them are 7 in counts (7 ~ pitu ~ mitoni).
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in the top above, there's a cone-shaped white rice surrounded by 7 kinds of red'n'white javanese porridge; (1) red porridge, (2) white porridge, (3) half red'n'white porridge, (4) white porridge poured over the red porridge, (5) red porridge poured over the white porridge, (6) white porridge crossed over the red porridge, and last (7) red porridge crossed over the white porridge. in above left, there were traditional cakes, all 7 in counts ;)

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another ritual offering
in the morning, together with our family from both sides, prayers were done firstly before the tingkeban ceremony. hopefully both the mother & the baby--which is my baby berucil and me!! :D--are stay healthy and safe til the laboring process, and for the ceremony itself so that it'll done smoothly.
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we're soon-to-be mommy and daddy!! :D
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ask for blessings from our parents
after the prayers were done... then it's time for the show!! :D i changed my clothes into green jimpitan cloth--the same cloth i wore in my siraman before our wedding months ago--and hubby wears his dark-green beskap. and, yes, honey... you do looked handsome :)
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sungkeman with our parents, and an extra sungkeman of me to hubby ^^
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before the siraman was started, first we did sungkeman process to our parents, asking for blessing for our upcoming baby, and as for me, i also did sungkeman to my hubby--the soon-to-be daddy :)
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siraman process started with hubby as the first person to bathe me. siraman in tingkeban is indeed different than siraman in pre-wedding events, still according to the 7-rule, there are 7 spots to be bathe in tingkeban; (1) the head, (2) the right hand, (3) the left hand, (4) front body, (4) back body, (5) right leg, (6) left leg. fyi, the water dipper used in siraman tingkeban was made from a-halfed coconut fruit with a tiny hole in the bottom, and the bather must bathe the soon-to-be mother--which is me--quickly, resembling a pray so that the laboring process will be quick too.
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the next bather were our parents, but there's a special task for my mother-in-law and my mother before they bathe me; they must scrub my body with 7-colored body scrubs, resembling a pray so that the baby will be born as a clean, enlightened, and bright child. after our parents, 7 aunties from our family who already had at least a grandchild also bathe me. 7 in javanese was 'pitu', and these 7 aunties were meant to give 'pitulungan'--literally means help, but i think it's more to the prayers for the laboring process.
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wudhu after the siraman process
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...and the surprisingly intact funnel :D
after siraman, my mother and mother-in-law poured water from a jar for my wudhu, and after that the jug was broked down into pieces--and being examined... for what? ^^ for the jar funnel itself, is it intact or broked in pieces too as the jar body?? surprisingly, it is intact!! means the baby was possibly a boy--according to the 4D USG i'd done several days ago, it was correct!! :D, because if the funnel was broked into pieces, means the baby was possibly a girl. phewww... then the 4D USG was a waste after all ;p
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7-colored cloths wrapped; (1) white cloth, resembling that the baby will be born as an innocent & pure child, (2) red cloth, resembling of how God creates human from blood, (3) purple cloth, so that the baby will be an obdurate person and won't be easily cast down, (4) green cloth, so that the baby will bring such a cool breeze for everyone's heart, (5) yellow cloth, so that the baby will be a noble person, (6) blue cloth, so that the baby will be a loving person, (7) brown cloth, so that the baby will be a 'down to earth' person. they were such beautiful hopes for my baby... *touched*
 
 
*as far as i can remember, the thing called 'sea' never scared me, not until...

it was last saturday, on 13022010, right after i had my lunch with hubby, there were suddenly crowds surrounding the primary health care in front of our homestay house, we could hear some of them cried, scream, or even yelling something unclear. it was a fine day at first, yet it's still rainy season, where the clouds covered the land and all you can see was the greyish shadow.

he went to the primary health care afterwards, carrying our medical bag as usual, while i'm washing the dishes in the kitchen. the crowds outside were just getting more crowded. they said there were a group of medical students went for picnic to lihaga island, there were 9 of them, and they must be very happy at first--of course, who doesn't??--for having their friends around and have fun together, not until the bad weather came with waves and strong current. and unfortunately, it takes one of them away...

he was a medical student, the only son in his family, in about 2-3 years he'll be a medical doctor like his sister do, and today was supposed to be a usual happy-day-for-picnic with his friends and his girlfriend. but no one could predict God's will. one of his friends was already gave him cardiopulmonary resuscitation--but my hubby said, it was done in wrong manner, and she stopped doing it after exhausting 10 mins of cpr-ing, alone (why, for God's sake, when there were 8 medical students there, only 1 person could thought of doing the cpr??!)--but it doesn't bring the poor boy back in life.

i was waiting in my room when i clearly heard more people are coming they started crying, yelling, and screaming again and again. hubby said they're his family. father, mother, sister, others... and his girlfriend too--who saw his dearie went off right in front of her eyes.

.....

ou, dear sea... i never thought i could've scared of you :(
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lihaga island, where it all happened
 
 
yep yep yep, ain't the title came crystal clear?? i'm currently in my happiest part as a woman, to be exact, i'm positively pregnant ;) in my 22 weeks. it was around 5 days before aidil fitri when i took the strip test, and when it shown double red line, it feels like i just wanna scream in flooded happiness!! my Graceful God... this was the greatest gift of my life, ever!!
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my fetus on 12th week
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me, on my 20th week, can you see the baby bump there??
 
 
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pre-wedding session di parangtritis yogyakarta, taken by kenvin pinardy

22 may 2009: wedding reception

this is it... the final day aka the wedding reception. truthfully, i can't thanked my parents enough for this... it's definitely the wedding of my dream; rich in yogyakarta atmosphere, completed with soldiers and opening traditional dance, got my favorite band 'romantic 4' as the wedding band--you should watch'em on stage every monday nite in pisa cafe menteng, trust me, they're lovely!!--also classic style of our make-up and wedding clothes, flowers and foods, family and friends all around... i couldn't have a better wedding than this, it's so perfect! :)
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wearing yogyakarta's kanigaran (kebesaran) clothes, similar with those worn by sultan hamengku buwono for crowning ceremony in the palace. black was the only original color for this, beautiful! as if we're the real king and queen ;)
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before the long march being started
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with paes ageng make-up which was rich in yogyakarta philosophical meaning and dressed in kanigaran, i never looked beautiful than before... teehee! :D
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watching the srimpi dance while sitting on the marvelous stage in joglo-style
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the new happy family
the wedding vendors:
wedding organizer >> purusatama (they organized the wedding of agus yudhoyono and anisa pohan)
traditional make-up and kanigaran wardrobe >> mrs. tari donolobo from sanggar sri renggo sadono, visit her website here
parents and siblings wardrobe >> busana jawi, bara, and sri djaja (most beautiful batik cloth i've ever seen! also sultan's favorite)
pre-wedding pictures >> kenvin pinardy (his works were awwwweeesome!! view his portfolio here)
decoration >> k'jogja
catering >> gandrung (good price came as good food too)
venue >> balai samudra
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pre-wed session taken in keraton ratu boko, yogyakarta, by kenvin pinardy
...and so the next morning, the "ijab kabul" of akad nikah or wedding solemnization process started...

22 may 2009:
1. akad nikah

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the groom came to my house
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me--as the bride, of course--came to witness the ijab kabul process between my dad and him
as moslems, our wedding solemnization called "ijab kabul" of "akad nikah" was the main part of the wedding itself. the father of the bride will officially spoke the ijab words in the bride's name and the groom replied with qobul words. in our faith, it is better if we don't repeat the ijab kabul until 3 times... well, since i'm not my dad and i'm not him also, i can't feel the nervousness speaking those words, but of course they do! and they made me sooo proud at that time for they've made ijab kabul process done in once! i love you sooo much, daddy... :')
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ijab kabul process between my beloved two men
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praying and signing the marriage papers afterwards
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my husband--finally, yeay!!--giving me the mas kawin or wedding gifts

2. panggih

as we're officially married, next "panggih" is a process of how the groom and bride met in front of the door house. first we will throw betel leaves tied with a white knot--4 for him, and 3 for me--on each other, then i will wash both his feet with waters and flowers to show my devotion for him as his wife. pssst... i do tickle his feet while i washed'em, teehee!! :D

next the traditional make-up artist will take an egg from inside the water jug, she'll get it touched to our forehead, then breaks it down. in yogyakarta tradition, the groom didn't stepped on the egg, different with surakarta's. the broken egg means that the bride and groom are no longer virgin since they're already became husband and wife.
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3. tampa kaya / kacar-kucur

"tampa kaya" or "kacar kucur" is a process when the groom give the bride a package of uncooked yellow rice, some seeds, and some moneys in a red cloth. the bride will accept in different red cloth, tied it tight, and then ask her mother to keep it. means that the groom must be ready to fulfill his duty as a husband which is to earn a living for his wife, and the bride must be a wise and thoughtful in keeping his husband's earn.
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notice in the right side that we--the groom and bride--came in to the house by ourselves, accompanied by the bride's parents behind. in yogyakarta they don't do 'sinduran' as in surakarta's

4. bubak kawah & tumplak punjen

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"bubak kawah" is done when the first daughter of the family get married, whereas "tumplak punjen" is done when the last daughter of the family get married. since i was the only daughter of my family, both processions were done. "bubak kawah" done as a man, a member of the family came in to the venue carrying a load filled with 80 cooking utensils hanged in the load. then the female guest on the venue will snatch away those utensils. it was really fun seeing snatching this and that!! "tumplak punjen" done as my mom carrying a bowl filled with uncooked yellow rice, seeds, and moneys in coins and bills and threw it away around the guests. we were laughing watching these 2 processions, never thought it could be so fun!! :D

and in the middle of the day when the males were prepared to do jumat prayers, and so i hoped for tomorrow night's reception will be carried away smoothly and safely...
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the happiest newlywed ;)
 
 
*the one i've ever dreamed of...
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my fave pre-wed pic, taken in tamansari yogyakarta by kenvin pinardy
it tooked 3 whole days to complete all the wedding process, since me and him came as javanese in yogyakarta traits, we need to do some traditional rituals before we were pronounced as husband and wife. it was tiring for us, of course... but surely those were the happiest moments in our life, once in a lifetime, and gladly we enjoyed all with unstoppable smile and heart that palpitates fast... :)

21 may 2009:
1. the prayers
(for me and him)

held in each of our house, as we're born in moslem family, we gathered our families, friends, neighbours, and colleagues altogether that morning. we all prayed so that all the wedding process could be done entirely safe and complete...
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the prayers in my house
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asking for apologize, permission, and blessing from my parents
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the prayers in his house
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asking for apologize, permission, and blessing from his parents
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his family :)

2. bleketepe hanging and assembling the tuwuhan (for me)

"bleketepe" is a form of coconut leaves assembled together into a criss-cross pattern in rectangular shape. in javanese traditions, if a family is hanging the bleketepe in the frontgate of the house means that the family is about having their daughter married. whereas "tuwuhan" were some earthy products suah as wheat, rice, banana, coconut, etc which were assembled also in the gatefront of the house, means as a hope for the marital process could be done safely and for prosperity of the family. my parents also mixed a jug of water compiled from 7 watersprings for my "siraman" process which comes next, and send a bowl of the water for the groom, called "tirta perwita adi" which will be used for his siraman.
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3. pelangkahan (for him)

as the duta tirta from my house arrived in his house, he started a process called "pelangkahan". since he's the last child and his brother--the 1st child--hasn't married yet, he needs to ask permission and blessing from his brother for getting married before him, and also giving him some gifts as a hope that he will gladly give the permission and blessing.
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him and his brother on pelangkahan

4. siraman (for me and him)

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me, before siraman
"siraman", or the last bathe, was done in order to clean up ourselves physically and mentally. our parents became the first to bathe us, continued by several aunties (for me) and uncles (for him) who already had at least one of their children married, and their counts must be odd.
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before "siraman", it is a compulsory for us to asking for apologize and blessing from our parents and the elderly. i want to make this moment special for me and my parents, so at that time i decided to read my 9-verses poem as i found it will be touchful for us. fyi, many of my families said that it is indeed a touchy poem, so you may click here to read it ;)
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my siraman process
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my mom selling dawet on the right
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his siraman process
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5. midodareni (for me & him)

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at night, all of his family came over to my house for "midodareni". "midodareni" in javanese word derived from "widodari" which means a beautiful fairy. there was a javanese folk story telling that when princess nawangsih is about to get married, his mother--a fairy goddess--dewi nawang wulang came over from heaven to beautify her beloved daughter looks one night before her wedding. so it became a faith in javanese people that in midodareni night, fairies will came down from heaven to beautify the bride-to-be looks, so she'll looked much more beautiful than before.
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my prince has come... :)
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his family brought me "seserahan" or love gifts in odd counts that will be given through my mom, but before that my parents will "tanting" or ask me again, for the last time, whether he was the man i chose to be my husband, and whether i was ready to be married. once i replied, "yes", i will also ask my dad to read "catur wedha" for him, which implies the duties of a husband to his wife and his family.
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tantingan by my parents
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my dad reads the catur wedha for him
after my dad reads the "catur wedha", my mom broght him a drink; a glass of water, which he must drink in once and left not even a drop of it. he's not allowed to eat--whereas his family were allowed to--and he also not allowed to see me during this midodareni, it's a patience test from the bride-to-be parents for him to see his sincerity to marry me tomorrow.
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a glass of water; the only thing he could consume on midodareni
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my mom giving the angsul-angsul to his mom
as a thank you for the "seserahan", my mom giving "angsul-angsul" or some gifts back for him through his mom. he also be given "kancing gelung" or the fashion and accessories he'll need to wear tomorrow for the wedding solemnization. yes yes yes... once the night became the day, we will be pronounced as husband and wife ^^
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*the greatest birthday gift ever...
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12 march 2009 was my 24th birthday, and it was 2 days after, on 14 march 2009, his family came to my house, brought a couple of rings--one of'em sparkled with a diamond in the middle--as the proof of our pre-vow. and there i am, waiting in flooded happiness when i saw him extraordinarily handsome--well, he is always handsome to me... teehee ^^--wearing a black tux--which i almost couldn't believe it, he wore a tux!!--with a white flower buttoniere accompanied by his family. including his sister that came all the way from s'pore to witness our engagement. i was happy... he was happy... our family was happy... everyone's happy!! :D all i can remember is that i slept that night with a smile in my face...
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my mom placed a ring on him, and his mom placed another one on me
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so... i thought you could guess what could be in the next me-update post, ryt?? just wait ;)
 
 

*40 years' worth of thanks In 1968, a white firefighter saved a black baby girl, touching the heart of a divided city. The two did not meet again. Until yesterday.

The firefighter crawled on his stomach through the pitch-black apartment, the smoke so thick he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. Somewhere inside was a baby and he had to find her.

A window broke, light filled the room, and he saw her lying in her crib, dressed only in a diaper, unconscious. Soot covered her tiny nose. She wasn't breathing and had no pulse.

He grabbed her and breathed life into her as he ran from the apartment.

A newspaper photograph captured their image - a white firefighter from South Boston with his lips pressed to the mouth of a black baby from the Roxbury public housing development - at a time when riots sparked by racial tensions were burning down American cities.

But despite this most intimate of introductions, they remained strangers. William Carroll won a commendation for the rescue, stayed on the job another 34 years, and retired. Evangeline Harper grew up, lost her family to drugs and illness, had six children of her own, and became a nursing and teaching assistant. And through it all someone would often tell her the story about the day she almost died and the man who would not let it happen. She always wanted to meet him and say thank you.

Yesterday, more than 40 years after the fire, she finally did.

In the neighborhood where they first met, Carroll, a slim 71-year-old, got out of his car, dressed in a navy blue uniform he had borrowed from a fellow firefighter, strode up to the 40-year-old woman, and beamed.

"You've grown a lot since the last time I saw you," he said, laughing and putting out his hand. She smiled, gently took his hand, and looked at him almost shyly.

"Thank you so much for remembering me," he told her.

Then he pulled her into a tight embrace and they held on to each other as they stood on Keegan Street, just a few yards from where he had carried her limp body decades ago.

"Thank you so much," she said softly.

The Globe arranged the meeting after Evangeline Harper, now Evangeline Anderson, introduced herself to a reporter at a community meeting and asked for help tracking down Carroll.

Anderson, who now lives in Dorchester, had tried twice before to locate the firefighter, first when she was 18, after her adoptive mother told her about the rescue, and again right after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

She tried to get his address from the Fire Department, but they said they could not give out personal information. She left her name and phone number, but never heard back.

"I thought, 'Oh, forget it. He probably doesn't remember," she said. " 'He's not interested.' "

That could not have been further from the truth.

"Evangeline Harper," Carroll said. "I'll never forget her name if I live to be 100 years old."

He heard once that she had been trying to get in touch with him, but somehow her phone number was lost and he did not know how to reach her.

For a while, Anderson stopped looking. Then, she heard the news about Lieutenant Kevin M. Kelley, the firefighter who was killed in January after his firetruck crashed into a Mission Hill building.

" 'Oh my God, this could have been this gentleman, and I never got a chance to say thank you,' " she recalled thinking. "I didn't want him to leave this earth or I to leave this earth without saying thank you."

Yesterday, she brought her youngest child, 6-year-old Reginald, and her godmother, Jacqueline Greer, who witnessed the rescue. For the meeting, Anderson swept her hair in a curly updo and carefully applied lip gloss.

The women brought Carroll a giant stuffed bear, and a thank-you card tucked inside an envelope addressed "To Our Hero."

Richard Paris, vice president of the firefighters union, stood nearby with Carroll's wife and little Reginald, who kicked at the frozen snow on the sidewalk as Greer, Carroll, and Anderson reminisced about the neighborhood. Gone were the brick high-rises that had once formed Orchard Park. In their place were two-level attached apartments painted in pastels and browns.

"I haven't been here in so long," Carroll said.

No one could remember exactly what started the fire on Nov. 7, 1968, but Greer said it began in the family's kitchen. Carroll, who was assigned to Engine 3, heard the report of children trapped in a burning building.

When Carroll arrived, Greer was at the scene, screaming and crying hysterically.

Carroll saved Evangeline, while Firefighter Charles Connolly rescued her 17-month-old brother, Gerry, and handed him to Lieutenant Joseph O'Donnell, who gave the boy mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"He just cared," Greer, now 60, said of Carroll. "It wasn't that the child was black or she was white. It was a child and he was trying his best to bring her back her life."

Yesterday, both remembered who was missing from the reunion. Connolly and O'Donnell died long ago of heart problems. Anderson's brother Gerry succumbed to pneumonia as a toddler. Her grief-stricken mother turned to drugs for comfort, and died of an overdose at age 25. Her two sisters died young of natural causes. Last year, Anderson lost both her adoptive mother and uncle.

"I wish my friends . . . were here," Carroll said. "But they're up there watching over us."

"That's what I say about my family," Anderson said.

The two quickly built a rapport. He asked about her children, and she told him her eldest son was studying forensic science in college and how musical her other children are.

He told her he wanted to get to know her, and she promised to cook him some soul food.

"Oh, baby," he said, laughing. "I love it, but my stomach don't."

Carroll then took the group for lunch at Florian Hall, the union's headquarters, where Carroll still goes every week for coffee with friends or to help fellow retirees with healthcare questions. Over sandwiches, the group looked at old black-and-white photos of that day and traded stories about the challenges of raising children.

Carroll bonded with Anderson's son, who drew a picture of himself holding Carroll's hand.

Parting in the parking lot, Carroll hugged Greer and Anderson and told Reginald to call him.

"There's your new grandpa," Anderson said to her son.

"What a beautiful day," the retired firefighter said as he turned and walked back inside.

© Copyright 2009 Globe Newspaper Company.

 
the beginning 02/09/2009
 

i've to admit that i'm tired. tired to be in the same city for almost 6 years. tired to study all the things that i'm not interested in (at first). tired to attend every course in the end of the road.

but, hey, on 05022009, that piece of paper in the hardcover frame do put a neverending smile on my face. a smile of a medical doctor, officially ;)

 
 

when will i wear it again?

*i'll miss being a coassisstant...

it's on the 2nd week of april 2007, if i'm not mistaken, when i came anxiously to the sardjito hospital as a new coassisstant for the first time. my thought was strangled with many kind of questions; will i able to pass this phase? will i do something wrong? will i accidentally messed up? will my patients be okay? will i get along with my new friends in the  group? will they accept me? will i be an individual or not? will everything be alright?? ...and at that  time, i was too afraid to answer all of those questions.

internal medicine was my first rotation, and as far as i can remember i've never been so diligent as when i was in this department; in my first week, when i was still a newbie knowing nothing and seemed to be lost in the middle of nowhere, i was assigned to assist a resident with the most patient counts in the ward, always more than 10 patients, and i'm alone! whereas some of my friends are lucky enough to be paired with fewer patient than mine!! T.T so there i am, the newbie, anxiously wake up every 4am--yeah, believe me, i was extremely too diligent at that time--to take bath, skipping breakfast, and drive away to the hospital, arrived at around 5.15am-5.30am carrying a heavy daily bag filled with some notes and internal med books, a hand-carry bag of a standard mercury sphygmomanometer, and not forgetting a small pink sling bag filled with a penlight, both digital and mercury thermometers, and a measuring tape. stethoscope? hanging on my neck ^^ i'm such an over-excited newbie anyway, apart that somehow i kinda want to be an internist someday regarding my mom's hidden illness that can't be cured up to this second, actually i really like studying internal meds. it's fascinating, in short. and still it is to me til now...

then the rotation went on and on... public health medicine and ear-nose-throat came shortly, followed by primary health care, dermatovenerology and psychiatry. together with 3 nurse coassisstants, we're spending 6 weeks in a primary health care in an outskirt-area of jogja. it was such a twilight for me, for being happy and unhappy. happy to face the patients as a "temporary real" doctor, and unhappy to know the reality of this country's medical facilities... like using some kind of drugs that actually had been banned? and a poor child with thalassemia who lived in such an unproper house and unable to afford any medications. i just can't help my tears from falling... T.T back then in my final year of undergrad, i did my thesis in dermatovenereology department, it's about keloid, a supposedly-to-be-simple biomolecular experiment using ultraviolet light, but i ended up in more than 12 months to finished it. frustrating, i've to confess, but that was the first time i found out that dermatovenereology attracts me. well... not until i get into the real rotation. some pros and cons happened in me when i was in the real set, and, yes, it disappoints me... and psychiatry?? nothing special, for the clinical part itself, but in the other part, the so-called-newly-formed-friendship had just getting stronger and better; as if our life were stopped around restaurants to eat and any comfortable desks to play poker--and, hey, i once played poker while i'm driving to a satellite hospital, y'know?? hahaha--plus a special thing for me to reminisce and again for my long-lasting i-know-it-and-i-can-do-it attitude: i drive myself and 3 friends to banyumas and back home, without changing driver. ooh i just love how it feels!

then obsgyn came, a nightmare for coassisstants that have been a legend for decades. and it happens to me. spending my 2 weeks out of total 8 weeks of the rotation in klaten, i lost my weight from 46 to 43-44 kgs. and for the first time of my life, me, who always been a food-eater and awarded by my dad as a "small-motorized-vehicle-with-double-decker-bus-capacity", or in indonesian language: "bemo muatan bis tingkat"--yeah, i eat more than you thought if you saw my figure ;p--but at that time, i craved for sleep more than for eat!! apart that i always amaze witnessing every second of the laboring process, it was a real tiring rotation. so no, i don't wanna be an obsgyn. no-uh.

having surgery rotation after obsgyn was such a heaven. thank God, i'm lucky enough for being created as female, regarding those 95% of surgery residents were male--if you got what i mean ;)--and having a killer urologist as my examiner was not a real problem, at all ;) ;) ;)

pediatric was supposedly another nightmare besides obsgyn, but spending 4 weeks in klaten was a real fun, and definitely not a nightmare like obsgyn. the pediatricians are nice and kind, especially our tutor, like i wrote before in here. i never know how it feels to have a grandfather, and i really want him as mine if i could :)

ophthalmology and neurology were another "heavenly" rotations. but not with anesthesiology after that. it was horrible horrible horrible. and waaaaay more tiring than obsgyn, well... imagine that, just like i wrote here. but radiology and forensic became such a happily-ever-after ending for my clinical rotation. it was fun, it wasn't tiring at all, and together with my sisterhood and brotherhood of kero gang--beware of it!--and culinary team, i've finished that 20-months-most-important-phase-of-my-life. i'll miss the hospital. i'll miss the patients. i'll miss all the rush happens. i'll miss all the troubles. i'll miss the night duty. i'll miss the canteens. i'll miss the smell of the public ward. i'll miss the freezing operating room. i'll miss the green and blue uniform. i'll miss the bedside study. i'll miss being "disappear" between working hours.

i'll miss being a coassisstant.

i really will.