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last month, on 27022010, and in my 29 weeks of pregnancy to be exact, tingkeban ceremony was held in our parents' house in jakarta. tingkeban ceremony, also known as mitoni or nujuh bulanan, was done as prayers and rituals are meant to keep the pregnancy safe til the mother give birth to the baby. our tingkeban--which was held in yogyakarta style--was truthfully, a very exciting experience for me, for i've never watch any tingkeban ceremonies before... and now when i saw it for the first time, it was me as the main actress!! teehee... ^^ and the differences from the rituals held during the wedding, tingkeban ain't that serious--it was mooore fun, exactly.
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some of the ritual offerings--in indonesian; sesajen
the first of all interesting things in tingkeban ceremony for me were the ritual offerings. there are more than 30 kinds of ritual offerings!! and most of them are 7 in counts (7 ~ pitu ~ mitoni).
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in the top above, there's a cone-shaped white rice surrounded by 7 kinds of red'n'white javanese porridge; (1) red porridge, (2) white porridge, (3) half red'n'white porridge, (4) white porridge poured over the red porridge, (5) red porridge poured over the white porridge, (6) white porridge crossed over the red porridge, and last (7) red porridge crossed over the white porridge. in above left, there were traditional cakes, all 7 in counts ;)

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another ritual offering
in the morning, together with our family from both sides, prayers were done firstly before the tingkeban ceremony. hopefully both the mother & the baby--which is my baby berucil and me!! :D--are stay healthy and safe til the laboring process, and for the ceremony itself so that it'll done smoothly.
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we're soon-to-be mommy and daddy!! :D
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ask for blessings from our parents
after the prayers were done... then it's time for the show!! :D i changed my clothes into green jimpitan cloth--the same cloth i wore in my siraman before our wedding months ago--and hubby wears his dark-green beskap. and, yes, honey... you do looked handsome :)
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sungkeman with our parents, and an extra sungkeman of me to hubby ^^
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before the siraman was started, first we did sungkeman process to our parents, asking for blessing for our upcoming baby, and as for me, i also did sungkeman to my hubby--the soon-to-be daddy :)
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siraman process started with hubby as the first person to bathe me. siraman in tingkeban is indeed different than siraman in pre-wedding events, still according to the 7-rule, there are 7 spots to be bathe in tingkeban; (1) the head, (2) the right hand, (3) the left hand, (4) front body, (4) back body, (5) right leg, (6) left leg. fyi, the water dipper used in siraman tingkeban was made from a-halfed coconut fruit with a tiny hole in the bottom, and the bather must bathe the soon-to-be mother--which is me--quickly, resembling a pray so that the laboring process will be quick too.
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the next bather were our parents, but there's a special task for my mother-in-law and my mother before they bathe me; they must scrub my body with 7-colored body scrubs, resembling a pray so that the baby will be born as a clean, enlightened, and bright child. after our parents, 7 aunties from our family who already had at least a grandchild also bathe me. 7 in javanese was 'pitu', and these 7 aunties were meant to give 'pitulungan'--literally means help, but i think it's more to the prayers for the laboring process.
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wudhu after the siraman process
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...and the surprisingly intact funnel :D
after siraman, my mother and mother-in-law poured water from a jar for my wudhu, and after that the jug was broked down into pieces--and being examined... for what? ^^ for the jar funnel itself, is it intact or broked in pieces too as the jar body?? surprisingly, it is intact!! means the baby was possibly a boy--according to the 4D USG i'd done several days ago, it was correct!! :D, because if the funnel was broked into pieces, means the baby was possibly a girl. phewww... then the 4D USG was a waste after all ;p
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7-colored cloths wrapped; (1) white cloth, resembling that the baby will be born as an innocent & pure child, (2) red cloth, resembling of how God creates human from blood, (3) purple cloth, so that the baby will be an obdurate person and won't be easily cast down, (4) green cloth, so that the baby will bring such a cool breeze for everyone's heart, (5) yellow cloth, so that the baby will be a noble person, (6) blue cloth, so that the baby will be a loving person, (7) brown cloth, so that the baby will be a 'down to earth' person. they were such beautiful hopes for my baby... *touched*
 
 
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pre-wedding session di parangtritis yogyakarta, taken by kenvin pinardy

22 may 2009: wedding reception

this is it... the final day aka the wedding reception. truthfully, i can't thanked my parents enough for this... it's definitely the wedding of my dream; rich in yogyakarta atmosphere, completed with soldiers and opening traditional dance, got my favorite band 'romantic 4' as the wedding band--you should watch'em on stage every monday nite in pisa cafe menteng, trust me, they're lovely!!--also classic style of our make-up and wedding clothes, flowers and foods, family and friends all around... i couldn't have a better wedding than this, it's so perfect! :)
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wearing yogyakarta's kanigaran (kebesaran) clothes, similar with those worn by sultan hamengku buwono for crowning ceremony in the palace. black was the only original color for this, beautiful! as if we're the real king and queen ;)
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before the long march being started
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with paes ageng make-up which was rich in yogyakarta philosophical meaning and dressed in kanigaran, i never looked beautiful than before... teehee! :D
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watching the srimpi dance while sitting on the marvelous stage in joglo-style
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the new happy family
the wedding vendors:
wedding organizer >> purusatama (they organized the wedding of agus yudhoyono and anisa pohan)
traditional make-up and kanigaran wardrobe >> mrs. tari donolobo from sanggar sri renggo sadono, visit her website here
parents and siblings wardrobe >> busana jawi, bara, and sri djaja (most beautiful batik cloth i've ever seen! also sultan's favorite)
pre-wedding pictures >> kenvin pinardy (his works were awwwweeesome!! view his portfolio here)
decoration >> k'jogja
catering >> gandrung (good price came as good food too)
venue >> balai samudra
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pre-wed session taken in keraton ratu boko, yogyakarta, by kenvin pinardy
...and so the next morning, the "ijab kabul" of akad nikah or wedding solemnization process started...

22 may 2009:
1. akad nikah

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the groom came to my house
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me--as the bride, of course--came to witness the ijab kabul process between my dad and him
as moslems, our wedding solemnization called "ijab kabul" of "akad nikah" was the main part of the wedding itself. the father of the bride will officially spoke the ijab words in the bride's name and the groom replied with qobul words. in our faith, it is better if we don't repeat the ijab kabul until 3 times... well, since i'm not my dad and i'm not him also, i can't feel the nervousness speaking those words, but of course they do! and they made me sooo proud at that time for they've made ijab kabul process done in once! i love you sooo much, daddy... :')
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ijab kabul process between my beloved two men
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praying and signing the marriage papers afterwards
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my husband--finally, yeay!!--giving me the mas kawin or wedding gifts

2. panggih

as we're officially married, next "panggih" is a process of how the groom and bride met in front of the door house. first we will throw betel leaves tied with a white knot--4 for him, and 3 for me--on each other, then i will wash both his feet with waters and flowers to show my devotion for him as his wife. pssst... i do tickle his feet while i washed'em, teehee!! :D

next the traditional make-up artist will take an egg from inside the water jug, she'll get it touched to our forehead, then breaks it down. in yogyakarta tradition, the groom didn't stepped on the egg, different with surakarta's. the broken egg means that the bride and groom are no longer virgin since they're already became husband and wife.
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3. tampa kaya / kacar-kucur

"tampa kaya" or "kacar kucur" is a process when the groom give the bride a package of uncooked yellow rice, some seeds, and some moneys in a red cloth. the bride will accept in different red cloth, tied it tight, and then ask her mother to keep it. means that the groom must be ready to fulfill his duty as a husband which is to earn a living for his wife, and the bride must be a wise and thoughtful in keeping his husband's earn.
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notice in the right side that we--the groom and bride--came in to the house by ourselves, accompanied by the bride's parents behind. in yogyakarta they don't do 'sinduran' as in surakarta's

4. bubak kawah & tumplak punjen

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"bubak kawah" is done when the first daughter of the family get married, whereas "tumplak punjen" is done when the last daughter of the family get married. since i was the only daughter of my family, both processions were done. "bubak kawah" done as a man, a member of the family came in to the venue carrying a load filled with 80 cooking utensils hanged in the load. then the female guest on the venue will snatch away those utensils. it was really fun seeing snatching this and that!! "tumplak punjen" done as my mom carrying a bowl filled with uncooked yellow rice, seeds, and moneys in coins and bills and threw it away around the guests. we were laughing watching these 2 processions, never thought it could be so fun!! :D

and in the middle of the day when the males were prepared to do jumat prayers, and so i hoped for tomorrow night's reception will be carried away smoothly and safely...
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the happiest newlywed ;)
 
 
*the one i've ever dreamed of...
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my fave pre-wed pic, taken in tamansari yogyakarta by kenvin pinardy
it tooked 3 whole days to complete all the wedding process, since me and him came as javanese in yogyakarta traits, we need to do some traditional rituals before we were pronounced as husband and wife. it was tiring for us, of course... but surely those were the happiest moments in our life, once in a lifetime, and gladly we enjoyed all with unstoppable smile and heart that palpitates fast... :)

21 may 2009:
1. the prayers
(for me and him)

held in each of our house, as we're born in moslem family, we gathered our families, friends, neighbours, and colleagues altogether that morning. we all prayed so that all the wedding process could be done entirely safe and complete...
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the prayers in my house
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asking for apologize, permission, and blessing from my parents
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the prayers in his house
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asking for apologize, permission, and blessing from his parents
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his family :)

2. bleketepe hanging and assembling the tuwuhan (for me)

"bleketepe" is a form of coconut leaves assembled together into a criss-cross pattern in rectangular shape. in javanese traditions, if a family is hanging the bleketepe in the frontgate of the house means that the family is about having their daughter married. whereas "tuwuhan" were some earthy products suah as wheat, rice, banana, coconut, etc which were assembled also in the gatefront of the house, means as a hope for the marital process could be done safely and for prosperity of the family. my parents also mixed a jug of water compiled from 7 watersprings for my "siraman" process which comes next, and send a bowl of the water for the groom, called "tirta perwita adi" which will be used for his siraman.
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3. pelangkahan (for him)

as the duta tirta from my house arrived in his house, he started a process called "pelangkahan". since he's the last child and his brother--the 1st child--hasn't married yet, he needs to ask permission and blessing from his brother for getting married before him, and also giving him some gifts as a hope that he will gladly give the permission and blessing.
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him and his brother on pelangkahan

4. siraman (for me and him)

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me, before siraman
"siraman", or the last bathe, was done in order to clean up ourselves physically and mentally. our parents became the first to bathe us, continued by several aunties (for me) and uncles (for him) who already had at least one of their children married, and their counts must be odd.
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before "siraman", it is a compulsory for us to asking for apologize and blessing from our parents and the elderly. i want to make this moment special for me and my parents, so at that time i decided to read my 9-verses poem as i found it will be touchful for us. fyi, many of my families said that it is indeed a touchy poem, so you may click here to read it ;)
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my siraman process
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my mom selling dawet on the right
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his siraman process
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5. midodareni (for me & him)

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at night, all of his family came over to my house for "midodareni". "midodareni" in javanese word derived from "widodari" which means a beautiful fairy. there was a javanese folk story telling that when princess nawangsih is about to get married, his mother--a fairy goddess--dewi nawang wulang came over from heaven to beautify her beloved daughter looks one night before her wedding. so it became a faith in javanese people that in midodareni night, fairies will came down from heaven to beautify the bride-to-be looks, so she'll looked much more beautiful than before.
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my prince has come... :)
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his family brought me "seserahan" or love gifts in odd counts that will be given through my mom, but before that my parents will "tanting" or ask me again, for the last time, whether he was the man i chose to be my husband, and whether i was ready to be married. once i replied, "yes", i will also ask my dad to read "catur wedha" for him, which implies the duties of a husband to his wife and his family.
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tantingan by my parents
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my dad reads the catur wedha for him
after my dad reads the "catur wedha", my mom broght him a drink; a glass of water, which he must drink in once and left not even a drop of it. he's not allowed to eat--whereas his family were allowed to--and he also not allowed to see me during this midodareni, it's a patience test from the bride-to-be parents for him to see his sincerity to marry me tomorrow.
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a glass of water; the only thing he could consume on midodareni
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my mom giving the angsul-angsul to his mom
as a thank you for the "seserahan", my mom giving "angsul-angsul" or some gifts back for him through his mom. he also be given "kancing gelung" or the fashion and accessories he'll need to wear tomorrow for the wedding solemnization. yes yes yes... once the night became the day, we will be pronounced as husband and wife ^^
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*the greatest birthday gift ever...
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12 march 2009 was my 24th birthday, and it was 2 days after, on 14 march 2009, his family came to my house, brought a couple of rings--one of'em sparkled with a diamond in the middle--as the proof of our pre-vow. and there i am, waiting in flooded happiness when i saw him extraordinarily handsome--well, he is always handsome to me... teehee ^^--wearing a black tux--which i almost couldn't believe it, he wore a tux!!--with a white flower buttoniere accompanied by his family. including his sister that came all the way from s'pore to witness our engagement. i was happy... he was happy... our family was happy... everyone's happy!! :D all i can remember is that i slept that night with a smile in my face...
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my mom placed a ring on him, and his mom placed another one on me
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so... i thought you could guess what could be in the next me-update post, ryt?? just wait ;)
 
 

*in memoriam of eyang mardiyati busono and eyang busono

2 weeks ago, at 13072008 to be exact, my lil' grandmother (younger sister of my grandmother) passed away. years before she was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer and had radical mastectomy and a series of chemotherapy. my grandmother also had metastasized breast cancer, in fact that was the et causa of her death. my mom said that unlike my lil' grandmother, she had unilateral mastectomy, but at that time the tumor had already spread to lungs and vertebrae.

my lil' grandfather was famously known as a caring man and love her wife in an extraordinary way--one of a real gentlemen in the whole family--with his one unique habit of kissing his wife 50 times before and after sleep. after she underwent the radical mastectomy, she never want to see her post-op scar, since for her it was too scary. and it was his husband, for every night and day, applying the oinment medications to her scar, and still kiss her 50 times before and after sleep. there are no single women and girls in the whole family not envy her for having such a gentleman as her husband, including me.

fortunately, 2 weeks before my lil' grandmother passed away, me, my brother, and my cousin went to her house in bulaksumur after we received message from my mom which told us that from the last medical control found the tumor had metastasized to the femur and around pelvic bone so that she's no longer able to even stand and walk like usual, and spend the rest of her time lying in bed. when we met her that day, she greets us with her lovely smile and chat with us happily, asking about our parents and our study... and telling us story that makes me surprise: for the last 1 month, when she was no longer able to stand and need to stay in bed, it was her husband--my lil' grandfather--doing all the things for her! feed her, preparing her drugs, help her to bath, changing clothes, wearing adult pad, even he do the toilet himself... and he still kiss her 50 times before and sleep! when we asked him why he didn't call a nurse to take care of her, he replied, "it's to take care of her, i life in this world. as long as i could done it, i'll do it myself. if i'm not, then my life become useless."

....................
*speechless for a moment*

at the day she passed away, his old and wrinkled face couldn't hide his sadness, his cloudy eyes stare straight, and looked empty. we all know how he loves his wife so much, that they're both needed each other, that he always protective to her, how he cares about her... and now that he lost his half part, i couldn't imagine how sad he is...

2 weeks later after her death, at 27072008 to be exact, my lil' grandfather passed away, went after his beloved wife. heart-attack, most probably. it is said that he was founded smile, more beautiful than his wife's when she passed away. i was sooo sad i couldn't help myself from a silent cry... for i clearly remember the last words he said when i came to his house 4 weeks ago.

you went after her, i know... you're both my real forever-and-after-not-even-death-will-do-us-apart couple, you've showed me the true meaning of love til the end...

...and i've lost one of the most gentlemen i've ever met.

there she goes...

...and he went after her