*40 years' worth of thanks In 1968, a white firefighter saved a black baby girl, touching the heart of a divided city. The two did not meet again. Until yesterday.

The firefighter crawled on his stomach through the pitch-black apartment, the smoke so thick he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. Somewhere inside was a baby and he had to find her.

A window broke, light filled the room, and he saw her lying in her crib, dressed only in a diaper, unconscious. Soot covered her tiny nose. She wasn't breathing and had no pulse.

He grabbed her and breathed life into her as he ran from the apartment.

A newspaper photograph captured their image - a white firefighter from South Boston with his lips pressed to the mouth of a black baby from the Roxbury public housing development - at a time when riots sparked by racial tensions were burning down American cities.

But despite this most intimate of introductions, they remained strangers. William Carroll won a commendation for the rescue, stayed on the job another 34 years, and retired. Evangeline Harper grew up, lost her family to drugs and illness, had six children of her own, and became a nursing and teaching assistant. And through it all someone would often tell her the story about the day she almost died and the man who would not let it happen. She always wanted to meet him and say thank you.

Yesterday, more than 40 years after the fire, she finally did.

In the neighborhood where they first met, Carroll, a slim 71-year-old, got out of his car, dressed in a navy blue uniform he had borrowed from a fellow firefighter, strode up to the 40-year-old woman, and beamed.

"You've grown a lot since the last time I saw you," he said, laughing and putting out his hand. She smiled, gently took his hand, and looked at him almost shyly.

"Thank you so much for remembering me," he told her.

Then he pulled her into a tight embrace and they held on to each other as they stood on Keegan Street, just a few yards from where he had carried her limp body decades ago.

"Thank you so much," she said softly.

The Globe arranged the meeting after Evangeline Harper, now Evangeline Anderson, introduced herself to a reporter at a community meeting and asked for help tracking down Carroll.

Anderson, who now lives in Dorchester, had tried twice before to locate the firefighter, first when she was 18, after her adoptive mother told her about the rescue, and again right after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

She tried to get his address from the Fire Department, but they said they could not give out personal information. She left her name and phone number, but never heard back.

"I thought, 'Oh, forget it. He probably doesn't remember," she said. " 'He's not interested.' "

That could not have been further from the truth.

"Evangeline Harper," Carroll said. "I'll never forget her name if I live to be 100 years old."

He heard once that she had been trying to get in touch with him, but somehow her phone number was lost and he did not know how to reach her.

For a while, Anderson stopped looking. Then, she heard the news about Lieutenant Kevin M. Kelley, the firefighter who was killed in January after his firetruck crashed into a Mission Hill building.

" 'Oh my God, this could have been this gentleman, and I never got a chance to say thank you,' " she recalled thinking. "I didn't want him to leave this earth or I to leave this earth without saying thank you."

Yesterday, she brought her youngest child, 6-year-old Reginald, and her godmother, Jacqueline Greer, who witnessed the rescue. For the meeting, Anderson swept her hair in a curly updo and carefully applied lip gloss.

The women brought Carroll a giant stuffed bear, and a thank-you card tucked inside an envelope addressed "To Our Hero."

Richard Paris, vice president of the firefighters union, stood nearby with Carroll's wife and little Reginald, who kicked at the frozen snow on the sidewalk as Greer, Carroll, and Anderson reminisced about the neighborhood. Gone were the brick high-rises that had once formed Orchard Park. In their place were two-level attached apartments painted in pastels and browns.

"I haven't been here in so long," Carroll said.

No one could remember exactly what started the fire on Nov. 7, 1968, but Greer said it began in the family's kitchen. Carroll, who was assigned to Engine 3, heard the report of children trapped in a burning building.

When Carroll arrived, Greer was at the scene, screaming and crying hysterically.

Carroll saved Evangeline, while Firefighter Charles Connolly rescued her 17-month-old brother, Gerry, and handed him to Lieutenant Joseph O'Donnell, who gave the boy mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"He just cared," Greer, now 60, said of Carroll. "It wasn't that the child was black or she was white. It was a child and he was trying his best to bring her back her life."

Yesterday, both remembered who was missing from the reunion. Connolly and O'Donnell died long ago of heart problems. Anderson's brother Gerry succumbed to pneumonia as a toddler. Her grief-stricken mother turned to drugs for comfort, and died of an overdose at age 25. Her two sisters died young of natural causes. Last year, Anderson lost both her adoptive mother and uncle.

"I wish my friends . . . were here," Carroll said. "But they're up there watching over us."

"That's what I say about my family," Anderson said.

The two quickly built a rapport. He asked about her children, and she told him her eldest son was studying forensic science in college and how musical her other children are.

He told her he wanted to get to know her, and she promised to cook him some soul food.

"Oh, baby," he said, laughing. "I love it, but my stomach don't."

Carroll then took the group for lunch at Florian Hall, the union's headquarters, where Carroll still goes every week for coffee with friends or to help fellow retirees with healthcare questions. Over sandwiches, the group looked at old black-and-white photos of that day and traded stories about the challenges of raising children.

Carroll bonded with Anderson's son, who drew a picture of himself holding Carroll's hand.

Parting in the parking lot, Carroll hugged Greer and Anderson and told Reginald to call him.

"There's your new grandpa," Anderson said to her son.

"What a beautiful day," the retired firefighter said as he turned and walked back inside.

© Copyright 2009 Globe Newspaper Company.

i've to admit that i'm tired. tired to be in the same city for almost 6 years. tired to study all the things that i'm not interested in (at first). tired to attend every course in the end of the road.

but, hey, on 05022009, that piece of paper in the hardcover frame do put a neverending smile on my face. a smile of a medical doctor, officially ;)

we arrived in schiphol at 6.30am, it was still dark outside, and we could feel the chillness outside as we stepped out from the plane. it's winter, i know, but i've never expected before that winter and its -4 degrees temperature was like that!! >,< snow was rare in sight, but at every tip of leaves, all over the grass, and in every cars outside the morning dews getting freeze into ice. imagine a greeny waft grass sprinkled with powder all over. it was simply beautiful. beautiful beautiful beautiful. even when we went to volendam to make that classic dutch-like family portrait, the beachwave foam was turned into white powdery ice! it was cold, for sure, not forgetting that netherlands was such a windy country... so it doubles the coldness especially if we don't cover up our face ;p

we had our dinner in a chinese restaurant called "oriental city", it wasn't a very big restaurant, but they cooked the crispiest peking duck with the tastiest sauce i've ever eat!! it's sooo yummy... unfortunately i don't have 2 gasters or longer intestine, or else i'll finished up that duck all by myself ;9~~~

the next morning we drove away to paris through belgium, and stopped in brussel having our meal. that lil' maneken pis?? ahhh just forget that lil' creature, i'm craving for souvenirs and chocolates more than that ;9
arrived in paris around 8pm, we directly checked-in in our hotel with just a bit sneak peek to the eiffel tower--which lights was changed to ocean blue with sparkling dimmed flashes in every hour for around 5 mins... cute!! ^^ and i'm pretty sure i had a very goodnight sleep with eiffel  outside my window...

we're all a bit excited when we found out that paris was a bit warmer than netherland, oh well... moving on from minus 4-6 degrees to 2-3 degrees could make myself grateful, and the most important is... it's not windy at all!! so at least i finally could rolled down my shawl a bit lower than usual, and looked nice in some of the pics taken... teehee ;)

...but not until we arrived in versailles castle, it was december 31st, and there was an extremely loooong queue to enter--and to make it even worse--in a freezy temperature, zero degree at that time, and horrible wind >,< so that after taking some pics--and tried my hardest to hold on the freezy wind as long as possible--we turned around back to the eiffel. oh well... no wind in paris, but there's one in versailles ;p

there was a huge crowd in eiffel, with a long queue to get on the top of the tower, but we'd rather walk a bit and taking some pics. besides, we've  been there before--the top of eiffel--at 2001. and for me, there's nothing special 'bout it. then we drove to napoleon bonaparte's mausoleum, oooh how i loooooove those classic european architecture!! i wonder how they could be sooo perfect in every details of pillars, walls, and carves. it's just gorgeous, from every point of view ^^ the egyptian obelisk was our next stop, there's a small carnival with a merry-go-round near by. cute... ^^ but now it's time for our stomachs to be filled in with a bowl of vietnamese rice noodles with extra slices of beef. hmm...

we're already tired that evening, but somehow the bling-bling eiffel still attracts us to be there at the countdown. but what can i say?? i'd rather had my countdown in ancol beach, jakarta, rather than in eiffel! you see... no fireworks, no music, no trumpets, none at all!! aaaggghh... is it expensive to give all the crowd something beautiful to see? i'm soooo disappointed i'd rather be inside my blanket than freezingly stand outside waiting for nothing! >:p

the road trip to lucerne, switzerland, the next day was a chance for me to have a nice dream sleep along the way. sophisticated 2-stars hotel (and it's cheap, oooh i love online booking!) to stay n super-super-suuuuuperrr wide bedroom for 4 of us. early in the next morning we drove up to mount titlis, and it was snow all over!!! ^^ i can't believe my eyes seeing that sparkled wet snow here and there. and i'm soooo speechless i'd better let you have a look on these photos.

no title.

no writings.

nothing.

i'm just sooooo bored i can't wait til i get on my plane and take off for my holiday!!

T.T

say... 'bout 2 days ago i went to an anime shop to rent some anime vcds with my chubbchubb. when we're about to leave and do the payment, i heard a song played from the shop attendant's pc, and it attracts me right away! i asked her what's the title and who's the singer--the song is in english, but from the dialect and accent i immediately n easily notice that the artist must be japanese ;p--and as soon as i'm home, i turned on my laptop, surfing through the searching engine, and succesfully found the attractive song ^^ so here it is... "closer to you" from monkey majik!

it's always on a friday night, when everybody seems to go outside
why am i alone tonight? i think i'll take my chances watching the city lights
somebody's calling me, i go up to my window, rushing but no sign
i couldn't reply, cause i'm so shy

but oh! i really want to go, i really want to show myself that i can take these chances
i just want to be the guy, who gets to be closer to you
but oh! i'll maybe never know, it's not a  tv show, i'll never get a happy ending
i don't want to say goodbye, i need to be...

closer to you, the way you look tonight gets me to ignite my heart for you
it may be denial, it's all worth the while
and all i want to do is be closer to you
i'm running out of time, i never take the chances that i'm dealt
ooh whoo ho ho...ooh whoo oh oh!

you know i run to you, but you don't even welcome me in your arms
i'm just a little bit confused, seems like we were having a good afternoon
no body's calling me, i go up in my bedroom, i'll sit down and sigh
i am ready to cry, why not cry?

but oh! i really want to go, i really want to show myself that i can take these chances
i just want to be the guy, who gets to be closer to you
but oh! i'll maybe never know, it's not a  tv show, i'll never get a happy ending
i don't want to say goodbye, i need to be...

closer to you, the way you look tonight gets me to ignite my heart for you
it may be denial, it's all worth the while
and all i want to do is be closer to you
i'm running out of time, i never take the chances that i'm dealt
ooh whoo ho ho...ooh whoo oh oh!

remember a song titled "rainy days" from bunglon's 1st album??

here we are in the middle of september
when the rain comes down again
stay inside, we don't have to leave the bedroom
where it's safe and warm and dry

i can't wait to see the sunshine
feel like chasing away the grey skies
and now there's so much more i see

you and i, we've got everything we need here
tell the world to go away

i can't wait to see the sunshine
feel like chasing away the grey skies
and now there's so much more i see

i rarely watched a same movie twice in the cinema, but this year i found out myself watched "transformers" and "twilight" twice. they're both great movies anyway, but in different type, of course.

"twilight" tells a story of edward cullen--a kind-hearted vampire--and isabella swan--an ordinary girl--fell in love with each other. i don't think i'll write the plot summary here since i don't feel like it, and i've to admit that the story was quite far beyond my imagination. i didn't read the book for sure, and yet i'm not planning to ;p but at least i know how it will be til the end of the tetralogy books: a happily-ever-after ending ;) *such a spoiler spoiler spoiler*

the thing is, in "twilight", i was mesmerized by edward cullen.

why? not because he's handsome--besides he's not wearing a red robe, armor, riding a horse, and able to fight with sword like edmund pevensie does ;p teehee--but for he's the most polite gentleman i've ever seen in a movie. and thanks to him, for i'm gladly crowned "twilight" as the most romantic movie of the year--for me, of course ;)

isabella swan: you've got to give me some answers.
edward cullen: i'd rather hear your theories.
isabella swan: i have considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite.
edward cullen: that's all superhero stuff, right? what if i'm not the hero?
                      what if i'm... the bad guy?

isabella swan: i'm not scared of you.
edward cullen: you really shouldn't have said that.

edward cullen: are you afraid?
isabella swan: i'm only afraid of losing you.
edward cullen: and so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
isabella swan: what a stupid lamb.
edward cullen: what a sick, masochistic lion.

my favorite scene yet mt favorite date too! ^^

the memorable first kiss

edward cullen: that's what you dream about? being a monster?
isabella swan: i dream about being with you forever.

and finally, the prom dance...

i was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
all of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
then when the cops closed the fair, i cut my long baby hair
stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

have i found you
flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
big pill looming

now i'm a fat house cat
nursing my sore blunt tongue
watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
pissing on magazine photos
those fishing lures thrown in the cold
and clean blood of Christ mountain stream

have i found you
flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
big pill stuck going down

when will i wear it again?

*i'll miss being a coassisstant...

it's on the 2nd week of april 2007, if i'm not mistaken, when i came anxiously to the sardjito hospital as a new coassisstant for the first time. my thought was strangled with many kind of questions; will i able to pass this phase? will i do something wrong? will i accidentally messed up? will my patients be okay? will i get along with my new friends in the  group? will they accept me? will i be an individual or not? will everything be alright?? ...and at that  time, i was too afraid to answer all of those questions.

internal medicine was my first rotation, and as far as i can remember i've never been so diligent as when i was in this department; in my first week, when i was still a newbie knowing nothing and seemed to be lost in the middle of nowhere, i was assigned to assist a resident with the most patient counts in the ward, always more than 10 patients, and i'm alone! whereas some of my friends are lucky enough to be paired with fewer patient than mine!! T.T so there i am, the newbie, anxiously wake up every 4am--yeah, believe me, i was extremely too diligent at that time--to take bath, skipping breakfast, and drive away to the hospital, arrived at around 5.15am-5.30am carrying a heavy daily bag filled with some notes and internal med books, a hand-carry bag of a standard mercury sphygmomanometer, and not forgetting a small pink sling bag filled with a penlight, both digital and mercury thermometers, and a measuring tape. stethoscope? hanging on my neck ^^ i'm such an over-excited newbie anyway, apart that somehow i kinda want to be an internist someday regarding my mom's hidden illness that can't be cured up to this second, actually i really like studying internal meds. it's fascinating, in short. and still it is to me til now...

then the rotation went on and on... public health medicine and ear-nose-throat came shortly, followed by primary health care, dermatovenerology and psychiatry. together with 3 nurse coassisstants, we're spending 6 weeks in a primary health care in an outskirt-area of jogja. it was such a twilight for me, for being happy and unhappy. happy to face the patients as a "temporary real" doctor, and unhappy to know the reality of this country's medical facilities... like using some kind of drugs that actually had been banned? and a poor child with thalassemia who lived in such an unproper house and unable to afford any medications. i just can't help my tears from falling... T.T back then in my final year of undergrad, i did my thesis in dermatovenereology department, it's about keloid, a supposedly-to-be-simple biomolecular experiment using ultraviolet light, but i ended up in more than 12 months to finished it. frustrating, i've to confess, but that was the first time i found out that dermatovenereology attracts me. well... not until i get into the real rotation. some pros and cons happened in me when i was in the real set, and, yes, it disappoints me... and psychiatry?? nothing special, for the clinical part itself, but in the other part, the so-called-newly-formed-friendship had just getting stronger and better; as if our life were stopped around restaurants to eat and any comfortable desks to play poker--and, hey, i once played poker while i'm driving to a satellite hospital, y'know?? hahaha--plus a special thing for me to reminisce and again for my long-lasting i-know-it-and-i-can-do-it attitude: i drive myself and 3 friends to banyumas and back home, without changing driver. ooh i just love how it feels!

then obsgyn came, a nightmare for coassisstants that have been a legend for decades. and it happens to me. spending my 2 weeks out of total 8 weeks of the rotation in klaten, i lost my weight from 46 to 43-44 kgs. and for the first time of my life, me, who always been a food-eater and awarded by my dad as a "small-motorized-vehicle-with-double-decker-bus-capacity", or in indonesian language: "bemo muatan bis tingkat"--yeah, i eat more than you thought if you saw my figure ;p--but at that time, i craved for sleep more than for eat!! apart that i always amaze witnessing every second of the laboring process, it was a real tiring rotation. so no, i don't wanna be an obsgyn. no-uh.

having surgery rotation after obsgyn was such a heaven. thank God, i'm lucky enough for being created as female, regarding those 95% of surgery residents were male--if you got what i mean ;)--and having a killer urologist as my examiner was not a real problem, at all ;) ;) ;)

pediatric was supposedly another nightmare besides obsgyn, but spending 4 weeks in klaten was a real fun, and definitely not a nightmare like obsgyn. the pediatricians are nice and kind, especially our tutor, like i wrote before in here. i never know how it feels to have a grandfather, and i really want him as mine if i could :)

ophthalmology and neurology were another "heavenly" rotations. but not with anesthesiology after that. it was horrible horrible horrible. and waaaaay more tiring than obsgyn, well... imagine that, just like i wrote here. but radiology and forensic became such a happily-ever-after ending for my clinical rotation. it was fun, it wasn't tiring at all, and together with my sisterhood and brotherhood of kero gang--beware of it!--and culinary team, i've finished that 20-months-most-important-phase-of-my-life. i'll miss the hospital. i'll miss the patients. i'll miss all the rush happens. i'll miss all the troubles. i'll miss the night duty. i'll miss the canteens. i'll miss the smell of the public ward. i'll miss the freezing operating room. i'll miss the green and blue uniform. i'll miss the bedside study. i'll miss being "disappear" between working hours.

i'll miss being a coassisstant.

i really will.

i just got my car being hit by a public bus commonly called "kopata". i was in a junction of dentistry faculty and the west gate of grha sabha pramana, it was red light clearly seen in the left, with a motorcycle in front of me which already stopped, my car in behind, and a blue taxi in my right side. i was already stopped for about 5 secs--yeah, i still have a great visus, and i do saw the red light--before there was a loud crash sound which immediately pushed my car to the front and hit the motorcycle. well i am shocked, extremely shocked.

i looked behind, and saw that ugly kopata bus had crashed my car, completely break my back window, and got my back door and spare tyre dented inside. well it was horrible, extremely horrible. three of us--me, the motorcycle, and the taxi driver--were just speechless, until we decided to go to the nearest police office, hoping to get all the things settled immediately. but the most important thing that makes me sooooo extremely angry, is that the fucking-bastard-asshole-son-of-a-bitch driver never said the words "i'm sorry" to each one of us. til at around 3pm when the long-waited boss of the kopata driver was confirmed that he couldn't come to take in responsibility for his silly-n-oh-so-stupid driver and the police decided to have us gather back there the next noon to finish all the business.

after the police gave us all the paper with all our phone numbers written there and a yellow paper as a receipt that all our vehicles and definitive papers will be stayed in the police office until all the probs are done, i shake hands with all the police officers, thanked them for their helpful attitude, and just after that, the driver shake my hand too, but, notice this, without even saw me right in my eye and said "sorry" like what i expected before. such a hell attitude from a hellish driver!!

hahahaha... we'll see, i too could have myself act helly cruel facing him and his dearie boss in the upcoming gathering. as my most favourite quote forever and ever; "looks could be deceptive". so you'd better watch yourself out, if you ever bite me even in my fingertip again, dear all bastard bus drivers out there... >;)