christian louboutin ;)
*missing my high-heels soooo much!

i'm currently in my 26th week of pregnancy, and no matter how often the baby kicks--even sometimes it does hurt me--i enjoy it very much. but y'know... sometimes there are small things that you can't do while you're pregnant, mine's very simple... i can no longer fit in some of my fave dresses, since my bust enlarges naturally and i'm soooo-over-waist ;p the other thing is, i can't wear my high-heels! i'm a small-size and a short-stature female, so that i need heeled shoes or sandals to make me look better in my height--not forgetting i've a husband with 185 cm tall, whereas i'm just 150-something cm, ughhh...--and as a woman, yes i do loooove high-heels. nowadays i spend most of my time in front of my laptop browsing--and drooling--some beautiful high-heels, of course, only to be seen, and not to be worn. phew phew phewwww... (-_-)
forever 21; love the vintage flower pattern!
christian louboutin (again ;p) ooohhh the ribbons are sooo cute!
fendi; simply romantic
giuseppe zanotti; glamourly romantic... and pretty too!! aaaarrrrgggghh... >,<
again, giuseppe zanotti; no comments, this one is awesome
ivana ;)
karen millen; that oversized rose corsage is truly adorable
kurt geiger; cute purple, cute ribbons!!
martinez valero olivia; too gorgeous to be true... ou dear
and here comes my most favorite from today's browsing... this lovely miss polkadotty from tabitha simmons... tada!! :D
but then again, i won't be able to wear those... well, at least until next june... oooohhhh i wish i had the patience for that!! i'm bored already with just flats flats and flaaaaaaats everyday... but hey, if someone bought me the flats below, mmmaaaayyybeeee i'll forget about those heels above... how is it?? *battlingeyelashes* ;)
D&G studded ballet flats ;)
*you won't understand how it feels unless u have allergic rhinitis

yesterday i just came back from jakarta, definitely happy with my short-holiday attending my cousin's wedding in kebumen and preparing few stuffs for my mitoni (traditional baby shower) next month. this morning i already go to work, meeting all the 50 patients after a week holiday is actually fun, but not--definitely not--with this runny nose. yes, the allergic rhinitis attacks me again and again!! T.T i slipped some handkerchief tissues in my pocket, yet those don't accomodate my runny nose enough 'til i back home... ugggghhh... God, please oh please don't let my baby have this allergic problems like me... T.T
okay, okay. i know i've been abandoning this blog since my last post on... february?? *geez... is it that long?? and so i promise this week i'll post some of my recent updates, soooo many stories to tell!

ok then, catch y'all later, folks!! ;)
aaaahhh finally i'm baaack!! and i'm sooo glad for it!! ^^ blame all the gsm networks providers in europe (except orange f, swisscom, and nl kpn--at last) for having me ended being away from writing in here. hey, what makes it so difficult for them to provide gprs access for their overseas roamers??? uuuuggh...

anyway, i just came back from my winter-to-new-year holiday about 5 days ago. started in netherland--to meet my long-lost big-fat-bandit cat,of course!!--where we spent our first night in one of my parent's friend's lovely dovey three-storey house in den haag. it wasn't a very big house, but it's nice, warm, and furnished with antiques--and i loooove antiques! especially the piano and candle stick!! ^^ me and my bandit cat were given a place in the garret room, it was small, cozy, and simply nice. there's a lovely garret-window facing the sideyard of the house, just exactly a window i've ever wanted long time ago for my own bedroom, but somehow it wasn't done as i want it to be :p

we arrived in schiphol at 6.30am, it was still dark outside, and we could feel the chillness outside as we stepped out from the plane. it's winter, i know, but i've never expected before that winter and its -4 degrees temperature was like that!! >,< snow was rare in sight, but at every tip of leaves, all over the grass, and in every cars outside the morning dews getting freeze into ice. imagine a greeny waft grass sprinkled with powder all over. it was simply beautiful. beautiful beautiful beautiful. even when we went to volendam to make that classic dutch-like family portrait, the beachwave foam was turned into white powdery ice! it was cold, for sure, not forgetting that netherlands was such a windy country... so it doubles the coldness especially if we don't cover up our face ;p

we had our dinner in a chinese restaurant called "oriental city", it wasn't a very big restaurant, but they cooked the crispiest peking duck with the tastiest sauce i've ever eat!! it's sooo yummy... unfortunately i don't have 2 gasters or longer intestine, or else i'll finished up that duck all by myself ;9~~~

the next morning we drove away to paris through belgium, and stopped in brussel having our meal. that lil' maneken pis?? ahhh just forget that lil' creature, i'm craving for souvenirs and chocolates more than that ;9
arrived in paris around 8pm, we directly checked-in in our hotel with just a bit sneak peek to the eiffel tower--which lights was changed to ocean blue with sparkling dimmed flashes in every hour for around 5 mins... cute!! ^^ and i'm pretty sure i had a very goodnight sleep with eiffel  outside my window...

we're all a bit excited when we found out that paris was a bit warmer than netherland, oh well... moving on from minus 4-6 degrees to 2-3 degrees could make myself grateful, and the most important is... it's not windy at all!! so at least i finally could rolled down my shawl a bit lower than usual, and looked nice in some of the pics taken... teehee ;)

...but not until we arrived in versailles castle, it was december 31st, and there was an extremely loooong queue to enter--and to make it even worse--in a freezy temperature, zero degree at that time, and horrible wind >,< so that after taking some pics--and tried my hardest to hold on the freezy wind as long as possible--we turned around back to the eiffel. oh well... no wind in paris, but there's one in versailles ;p

there was a huge crowd in eiffel, with a long queue to get on the top of the tower, but we'd rather walk a bit and taking some pics. besides, we've  been there before--the top of eiffel--at 2001. and for me, there's nothing special 'bout it. then we drove to napoleon bonaparte's mausoleum, oooh how i loooooove those classic european architecture!! i wonder how they could be sooo perfect in every details of pillars, walls, and carves. it's just gorgeous, from every point of view ^^ the egyptian obelisk was our next stop, there's a small carnival with a merry-go-round near by. cute... ^^ but now it's time for our stomachs to be filled in with a bowl of vietnamese rice noodles with extra slices of beef. hmm...

we're already tired that evening, but somehow the bling-bling eiffel still attracts us to be there at the countdown. but what can i say?? i'd rather had my countdown in ancol beach, jakarta, rather than in eiffel! you see... no fireworks, no music, no trumpets, none at all!! aaaggghh... is it expensive to give all the crowd something beautiful to see? i'm soooo disappointed i'd rather be inside my blanket than freezingly stand outside waiting for nothing! >:p

the road trip to lucerne, switzerland, the next day was a chance for me to have a nice dream sleep along the way. sophisticated 2-stars hotel (and it's cheap, oooh i love online booking!) to stay n super-super-suuuuuperrr wide bedroom for 4 of us. early in the next morning we drove up to mount titlis, and it was snow all over!!! ^^ i can't believe my eyes seeing that sparkled wet snow here and there. and i'm soooo speechless i'd better let you have a look on these photos.





no title.

no writings.


i'm just sooooo bored i can't wait til i get on my plane and take off for my holiday!!



when will i wear it again?

*i'll miss being a coassisstant...

it's on the 2nd week of april 2007, if i'm not mistaken, when i came anxiously to the sardjito hospital as a new coassisstant for the first time. my thought was strangled with many kind of questions; will i able to pass this phase? will i do something wrong? will i accidentally messed up? will my patients be okay? will i get along with my new friends in the  group? will they accept me? will i be an individual or not? will everything be alright?? ...and at that  time, i was too afraid to answer all of those questions.

internal medicine was my first rotation, and as far as i can remember i've never been so diligent as when i was in this department; in my first week, when i was still a newbie knowing nothing and seemed to be lost in the middle of nowhere, i was assigned to assist a resident with the most patient counts in the ward, always more than 10 patients, and i'm alone! whereas some of my friends are lucky enough to be paired with fewer patient than mine!! T.T so there i am, the newbie, anxiously wake up every 4am--yeah, believe me, i was extremely too diligent at that time--to take bath, skipping breakfast, and drive away to the hospital, arrived at around 5.15am-5.30am carrying a heavy daily bag filled with some notes and internal med books, a hand-carry bag of a standard mercury sphygmomanometer, and not forgetting a small pink sling bag filled with a penlight, both digital and mercury thermometers, and a measuring tape. stethoscope? hanging on my neck ^^ i'm such an over-excited newbie anyway, apart that somehow i kinda want to be an internist someday regarding my mom's hidden illness that can't be cured up to this second, actually i really like studying internal meds. it's fascinating, in short. and still it is to me til now...

then the rotation went on and on... public health medicine and ear-nose-throat came shortly, followed by primary health care, dermatovenerology and psychiatry. together with 3 nurse coassisstants, we're spending 6 weeks in a primary health care in an outskirt-area of jogja. it was such a twilight for me, for being happy and unhappy. happy to face the patients as a "temporary real" doctor, and unhappy to know the reality of this country's medical facilities... like using some kind of drugs that actually had been banned? and a poor child with thalassemia who lived in such an unproper house and unable to afford any medications. i just can't help my tears from falling... T.T back then in my final year of undergrad, i did my thesis in dermatovenereology department, it's about keloid, a supposedly-to-be-simple biomolecular experiment using ultraviolet light, but i ended up in more than 12 months to finished it. frustrating, i've to confess, but that was the first time i found out that dermatovenereology attracts me. well... not until i get into the real rotation. some pros and cons happened in me when i was in the real set, and, yes, it disappoints me... and psychiatry?? nothing special, for the clinical part itself, but in the other part, the so-called-newly-formed-friendship had just getting stronger and better; as if our life were stopped around restaurants to eat and any comfortable desks to play poker--and, hey, i once played poker while i'm driving to a satellite hospital, y'know?? hahaha--plus a special thing for me to reminisce and again for my long-lasting i-know-it-and-i-can-do-it attitude: i drive myself and 3 friends to banyumas and back home, without changing driver. ooh i just love how it feels!

then obsgyn came, a nightmare for coassisstants that have been a legend for decades. and it happens to me. spending my 2 weeks out of total 8 weeks of the rotation in klaten, i lost my weight from 46 to 43-44 kgs. and for the first time of my life, me, who always been a food-eater and awarded by my dad as a "small-motorized-vehicle-with-double-decker-bus-capacity", or in indonesian language: "bemo muatan bis tingkat"--yeah, i eat more than you thought if you saw my figure ;p--but at that time, i craved for sleep more than for eat!! apart that i always amaze witnessing every second of the laboring process, it was a real tiring rotation. so no, i don't wanna be an obsgyn. no-uh.

having surgery rotation after obsgyn was such a heaven. thank God, i'm lucky enough for being created as female, regarding those 95% of surgery residents were male--if you got what i mean ;)--and having a killer urologist as my examiner was not a real problem, at all ;) ;) ;)

pediatric was supposedly another nightmare besides obsgyn, but spending 4 weeks in klaten was a real fun, and definitely not a nightmare like obsgyn. the pediatricians are nice and kind, especially our tutor, like i wrote before in here. i never know how it feels to have a grandfather, and i really want him as mine if i could :)

ophthalmology and neurology were another "heavenly" rotations. but not with anesthesiology after that. it was horrible horrible horrible. and waaaaay more tiring than obsgyn, well... imagine that, just like i wrote here. but radiology and forensic became such a happily-ever-after ending for my clinical rotation. it was fun, it wasn't tiring at all, and together with my sisterhood and brotherhood of kero gang--beware of it!--and culinary team, i've finished that 20-months-most-important-phase-of-my-life. i'll miss the hospital. i'll miss the patients. i'll miss all the rush happens. i'll miss all the troubles. i'll miss the night duty. i'll miss the canteens. i'll miss the smell of the public ward. i'll miss the freezing operating room. i'll miss the green and blue uniform. i'll miss the bedside study. i'll miss being "disappear" between working hours.

i'll miss being a coassisstant.

i really will.


i just got my car being hit by a public bus commonly called "kopata". i was in a junction of dentistry faculty and the west gate of grha sabha pramana, it was red light clearly seen in the left, with a motorcycle in front of me which already stopped, my car in behind, and a blue taxi in my right side. i was already stopped for about 5 secs--yeah, i still have a great visus, and i do saw the red light--before there was a loud crash sound which immediately pushed my car to the front and hit the motorcycle. well i am shocked, extremely shocked.

i looked behind, and saw that ugly kopata bus had crashed my car, completely break my back window, and got my back door and spare tyre dented inside. well it was horrible, extremely horrible. three of us--me, the motorcycle, and the taxi driver--were just speechless, until we decided to go to the nearest police office, hoping to get all the things settled immediately. but the most important thing that makes me sooooo extremely angry, is that the fucking-bastard-asshole-son-of-a-bitch driver never said the words "i'm sorry" to each one of us. til at around 3pm when the long-waited boss of the kopata driver was confirmed that he couldn't come to take in responsibility for his silly-n-oh-so-stupid driver and the police decided to have us gather back there the next noon to finish all the business.

after the police gave us all the paper with all our phone numbers written there and a yellow paper as a receipt that all our vehicles and definitive papers will be stayed in the police office until all the probs are done, i shake hands with all the police officers, thanked them for their helpful attitude, and just after that, the driver shake my hand too, but, notice this, without even saw me right in my eye and said "sorry" like what i expected before. such a hell attitude from a hellish driver!!

hahahaha... we'll see, i too could have myself act helly cruel facing him and his dearie boss in the upcoming gathering. as my most favourite quote forever and ever; "looks could be deceptive". so you'd better watch yourself out, if you ever bite me even in my fingertip again, dear all bastard bus drivers out there... >;)


*talking 'bout prince charming...

i bet most of the girls in the world must have been dreamed about her own prince charming. y'know... that kinda handsome-looking-gentleman, with flowing red robe, holding a shiny sword carved with gold, riding on the horseback through the greeny savana, to take the princess--that's me, or us, the girls, literally ;p--away and live happily ever after in a castle upon the hill. hahaha go on, laugh on me! but i never exactly stop dreaming about my own prince charming since i started to watch walt disney's "snow white" at age 3. that's why i always dreamed on my prince to be exactly like that; dark brown hair, brown eyes, with red robe and riding a horse--well, for the horse, i prefer the brown rather the white one. remember the prince charming in "shrek"?? sooo no, it's a big no no! >,<

yesterday, 15112008, when i was sat lazily in front of the tv screen and played with the remote, i found out that "the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe" was aired in disney channel. i passed the first 30 minutes, i guess... but that's ok. it's still worth to be watched and i'm so eager for it! ...and there they are, the pevensie children; peter, edmund, susan, and lucy. edmund, the third, was the center of the story, for he (almost) betrayed on his own siblings and lead them to the witch. he's still a boy in this movie, but if u've seen the "prince caspian"... dang! edmund pevensie is sooo close to my definition of prince charming--of my own, of course. here are some pics and cutscenes from "prince caspian". isn't he handsome, cool, but looked warm at the same time? and that straight-looking eyes! @.@ aaahh... i wish i was teenager once again ^^

my prince charming

an astounding dual-sword knight

yet a magnificent cross-bow archer too

unfortunately, prince charming didn't exist in real world. yeah, of course... there'll be no men wandering around with sword, robe, and horse like that. they'll drive fancy cars instead, ain't it right?? ;p but however, keeping a childhood dream like this helped me out to "breathe" for a while between my hectic thingies happened in my real life. even just for a sec, it always turns my lips to smile. and even though i've found someone--hopefully, my heartkeeper, my soulmate for ever and after--i chosed to be with in the upcoming wedded bliss, which isn't even similar with my prince charming, i won't ever stopped dreaming about it.


just a short post, i'm currently feel soooo dizzy but happy at the same moment; happy to be home. oh well... after those 4 (quite) boring weeks in neurology but still got an 'A' for that, i'm leaving that damn hospital for (almost) 2 weeks!! i'm breathing fresh air!! ^^ i couldn't be happier than this rite now...

hmm... and if i remember those blue sky, blue sea, clear beach, and white sand waiting for me in days, my lips started to smile ;)


we may look dirty in front of God, but forgiveness is something He'll always give if we ask for it :) minal aidin wal faidzin, dear moslems... and may we all have enjoyful fasting!