the poem i read on sungkeman before siraman...

21052009 by ceftriaxone
*dedicated to my parents

Bapak, dan Ibuku, yang kuhormati
Siapakah gerangan yang tahu
    kecuali Allah Yang Maha Tahu
Bahwa hari ini, di hadapanmu,
Bapak, dan Ibuku...
    kan kurangkum untaian hidupku bersamamu
Dan dengan segala kerendahan hatiku, kubersimpuh...

Bapak, dan Ibuku, yang kusayangi
Masih ingatkah dulu, sewaktu kecilku?
Dengan topi lebar penuh bunga,
    dan sepeda yang kau hias, Bapak
Dengan gaun dan rok tutu merah muda
    yang kau jahit, Ibu
Dan hari itu tawa dan senyumku merekah sepanjang hari

Bapak, dan Ibuku, guru abadiku
Masih ingatkah dulu, saat kuterdiam dalam bingung?
Lalu kau ajariku seluruhnya,
    tentang sekolahku, tentang temanku,
    juga tentang rasaku, dan tentang hidupku
Kau ajariku tertawa dengan jujur,
    pun kau biarkan kumenangis dalam murung
Kau tak pernah lupa memelukku saat kubahagia,
    pun tak pernah lupa kau memelukku saat kuterjatuh

Bapak, dan Ibuku, rumahku untuk pulang selalu
Masih kuingat saat bimbangku,
    saat sedihku, marahku, dan sakitku
Saat kau tak berada di belakangku
    untuk mendorongku meraih asaku
Masih kuingat saat kecewaku
    saat melihatmu berseberangan denganku
Hingga waktu membawaku kembali menginjak bumi,
    membuka mataku, dan menyadarkanku
Bahwa untuk membahagiakanmu, adalah kebahagiaan yang kucari...

Bapak, dan Ibuku, bianglala dan matahariku
Betapa tak terhingga syukurku, sujudku,
    pada Allah Yang Maha Pemurah
    memberiku kenikmatan dalam wujudmu
Berdua, dalam tatap mataku,
    melindungiku, menjagaku,
    menuntunku hingga hari ini
Dan dengan tulusnya hatimu, `kan kau antarkan aku untuk menapak  tangga lebih tinggi

Bapak, dan Ibuku, malaikat penjagaku
Hari ini, izinkanlah kumemohon padamu
Sebuah permintaanku
    sebagai seorang putri, kepada orangtuanya

Bapak, dan Ibuku, sepasang sayap pelindungku
Izinkanlah aku, untuk berjalan bersama belahan jiwa yang kupilih
Meniti setapak kecil yang kami ingini
    untuk mendapat ridha Allah Yang Maha Pencipta,
    untuk dapat menjadi satu jiwa yang utuh,
    dan untuk menjadi sepasang sayap yang kokoh dan tegar
Seperti engkau berdua...
Sehingga kelak kami mampu melindungi dan membimbing sayap-sayap kecil kami
    untuk dapat tumbuh dan terbang tinggi
Lebih tinggi dari kami
    dan lebih tinggi darimu

Maka ajari aku lebih keras, didik aku lebih keras lagi!
Bimbing aku selalu dalam melewati setapak kecil kami
Dan genggam erat tanganku, Bapak dan Ibu...
Jangan lepaskan aku dari pandanganmu!
Karena terlalu tinggi tempat yang kutuju,
    yang kuyakin takkan bisa kulewati tanpamu di sampingku
Ingatkan aku bila kusalah,
    tegur aku bila kukhilaf
Karena ketahuilah, Bapak dan Ibu...
    bahwa aku akan tetap di sini
Aku takkan pernah, dan sungguh takkan pernah pergi!

Bapak, dan Ibuku, cintaku, hidupku yang takkan tergantikan...
Kumohon... restuilah kami,
    izinkanlah, dan
    kabulkanlah permintaanku...

geez... it's been more than a month since my last post here, i need to be more creative i guess ;p

04122008 by ceftriaxone
*written while listening to twilight movie soundtrack

it's cold, and i'm alone
not sleepy yet, but my mind has gone
swung with bella's lullaby

shall we start our countdown, dear?
or shall we not?
`cause sometimes i've dreamed of fear
in seconds it's getting near

and i'm alone, here...

you're neither edmund nor edward
but it's you i wanted to be my guard

then i have to wait
i'll patiently wait
for me to have you as my first sight in the morning
for me to have you hugged me in my dream

it's still midnight, and the moonlight hanging bright
time passed by, keeps me on the state of fright
but why i'm trembling?
could it be `cause you didn't reply my message?
could it be?

and so i'm afraid, to lose you...

be my pair of wings, dear
fly me to the highest fir
`cause if it's not you, where else shoud i go to?


the day after
*16092008 by ceftriaxone
still couldn't hold my eyes from cloudiness

it's been a day 
since you went away
i spend my last night 
saying "i'm sorry..." inside my heart
for didn't see you with eyes still opened
for didn't kiss you before you sleep 

you're the sweetest of all
the prettiest of all
yet life didn't allow you to grow tall 
or even stay small

3 months are such a short time
to play with, to smile with, to laugh with, and to sing with

i could still hear your famous jingle 
which keeps on rewinding in my head til i go mingle
dear, you made me cry yesterday 
dear, please make me smile today...

`cause for ever
and for after 
you'll always be my lover

i found 2! 08/31/2008

the first one was made when i'm going to have my pediatric exam, and the second one was accidentally founded while i'm arranging my bookstacks in my room in a grey folded-here-n-there piece of paper *geez... i'm such an unorganized person, am i?? ;p btw, REM is rapid-eye-movement, happens when you're in a state of deep sleep.

the ending
*18072008 by ceftriaxone
pediatric exam is coming soon!

when i came, on my first day
i sighed, and feel so lame
i do miss the sun rays...
and run through the prairie without shame

they cried and laugh 
make me sneeze and cough
be patient, i said to myself 
only 3 more hours to twelve

to sleep, and having my REM

but weeks went fast
within times i passed, at last
a white line appears
depart me to my final fear

to end it

*----2007 by ceftriaxone
seems like i'm in a happy mood when i wrote this, but i simply forgot why ;p

spring oh spring come to me
don't woke up that lazy bee
i'll treat you with a cup of tea 
whether you want it chamomile or minty

fleurs oh fleurs be bloomed
don't hide yourself, you're too beautiful to be true 
give all the butterflies the clue
so they'll know which path they'll go to

flakes oh snowflakes be happy to melt 
`cause sadness is a feeling you must felt
and til we meet again, i won't held 
for the next winter it's a reminiscence we'll get

birds oh hummingbirds your songs are my tincture
my health elixir and god of all cure 
no matter how strong i endure
for you i'll stand up and burn

to be free!


told you before, that i have these kinda poem chronicles i wrote once a year since 04052005, in our anniversary date, to be exact, and as the final poem hopefully will be released 18 days before our wedding next year, these are the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chronicles...

now and then
*04052006 by ceftriaxone
it mostly wrotes about the days before we started dating

there was once upon a time i used to mime
as the bird goes hasty when the mailbox is empty
as my eyes turned worry and no longer be merry
that was the time i started to rhyme

time is tick as i saw you peek
wind blows in vain makes me afraid to feel the pain
will it be rain or will it begin?
you made me sick that i have to seek

sun will not stop if it needs to go up
waken me up from sleep that i tried to keep
this is such a creep, feels like i'm on a leap
the pages that i crop had been thrown to a cup

now there will be no quests of who and what is the clue
when you wink as my eyes blink
let's stay in this rink til we both sink
cause it's not just a boo since the count is already two

*04052007 by ceftriaxone
title taken from basil valdez's "you"

you, the one that smile at me
fade out my cries
said straight to my eyes
encourage me to flee

you, the one that i lean to
wrap around my arms
and feel your breath's warmth
just in our world of two

you, the one that make me laugh
yet in morning til nite
ask me to date with a flying kite
how can i doubt you as my love?

you, the one that i adore

stay with me, keep on counting
til more than three
`cause we will be

*04052008 by ceftriaxone
the latest one...

silly games i used to play
in my mind, from rose bay to milky way
i've left behind, they went northeast
without me at the very least
should i run or should i not?
for each one, each pray i've bought?

you've showed me a fate
out of my mind's half acre
an estate with a watergate, lays in wait
you were there to find me
on a solar flare, under mahogany tree
kiss me slow, grasp my hand
i'll let it go just so
1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps, 4 steps...
to our rio grandé land

at the time this latest one was made, he wasn't beside me as he went to another place for his clinical rotation, so i do remember how i'm quite upset that we didn't able to celebrate our anniversary together as usual T.T

well then... as the final poem hasn't been born yet, and as i never really planned this poem chronicles to be ended, perhaps i'll consider to continue with another new chronicles since i enjoy to wrote'em so much ;)
such as, a neverending chronicles?? just like our story that i always hope to neverends... not even death will do us apart. amen.


from 07072008 til 12072008 i spend my last week of pediatric clinical rotation in perinatology room, it was a boring week though... more than 4 weeks in klaten, but then the cuteness of those babies cheered me up a bit even the day after i wrote this poem i wasn't able to touch them again even just a tip of finger.

hari ini
*09072008 by ceftriaxone
dedicated to all babies in perinatology room

hari ini hampa, pun kemarin 
dan esok kuhanya dapat menatapmu
dari balik kaca, dan kau bermimpi 
bermain di trampolin
hingga sore tiba dan terdengar panggilan ibu 
hingga senja menyaput sayu
hari ini hampa, dan kau masih di sana
terbaring dalam kotak kaca 
lelap, seperti kura-kura, tidur dalam gelap
dalam hangat dan semilir udara
dan kau menggumam saat kakiku berderap
adakah kau berharap?

hari ini aku datang 
dengan kimono hijau besar, dan hari masih pagi
kau pun masih bermimpi, terbaring di tepi 
sebentar lagi, sebentar lagi
kau akan berlari menebas mentari 
dan kau tegak berdiri, di antara julangan ilalang


i do remember i've once submit one of my poem to a friendster account named by a  famous movie starred by robin williams, and become my favorite one too; "dead poets society". so i scroll through the testimonial and comment pages to find mine...

*04012005 by ceftriaxone
you may laugh, but ragnarok online game do inspire me a bit while making this poem ;p

here comes an assassin
just look at her, she is so thin
blessed with such an agility, to throw her daggers
but she wont able to use both hammers

and, listen, she is questioning;
will You forgive me, God, for all the
people i've killed?
will You forgive me, God, for all the
mess i've built?
will You forgive me, God
and she keeps on yawning

this is life
it is about how to survive
how to keep alive
and she could eat sushi for five

she could saw the blood, crawling
in her arm, curving
and she yelled to all whose near, whose heard

"kill me!"

those from 2005 06/27/2008

these are some of my poems i wrote in 2005, well... actually must be more then just these, for i've start writing poems since elementary ;p but a bad habit using any scrap papers available at that moment to write on makes it difficult for me to collect'em all.

untuk darrell
*20032005 by ceftriaxone
he's 10 days old at that time

kamu adalah satu gambaran
satu puncak, dari bebukitan bernama hidup
yang kini roboh, tercebur deras
menyelami cerah-suramnya jeram

gamitlah tangannya, pinta ia untuk ajari
nafas, luka, senyum, tersayat
dan tak semua berkesempatan memilikimu
mungkin juga aku

untuk bulan
*21032005 by ceftriaxone
one day after the news

satu hari telah usai, bulan
masih adakah matamu berembun?
atau adakah kaupandang kekosongan
dan tergeletak di bambu serumpun

kau begitu mencintainya

bagaimanapun rotasimu takkan berhenti
meski di hadapanmu kabut
kau hanyalah pantulan matahari
dengan cahaya yang menyaput

ia begitu mencintaimu

bulan, bulan, tidaklah mudah
dan seluruh konstelasi membakarmu
takkan dapat kau tertembus panah
mulai tersenyum, meski semu

sesungguhnya kalian tidak terpisah

am i missing you?
*14042005 by ceftriaxone
fyi : i never celebrate valentine

is missing someone so easy?
i've never know
i wake up late in the morning, i'm damn lazy
spend my nite thinking of our vow

dig me my tomb
so i'll be nowhere to be found
i'm tired, chasing by dozen of bombs
this globe seemed like a box, even it's round

how should i tell that i won't
loving you is the hardest thing in life
a swimmer won't hike a mount
she'll prefer drown, or stabbed with a knife

however, i love you still

is it you?
*17042006 by ceftriaxone
title taken from a j-pop song by hitomi

who's lie in here?
is it me or you
who's the one said
that there will be no fear?
is it me or you

unconsciously watch over the bond
undoubtfully fell off to the ground
the petals' scentness gone
leaving me and what i've done

i'm terrified
but you will never know
i'm petrified
but still you wouldn't know

live in darkness, demanding darkness
as the fire burn all the trees to ashes
no one will catch
i'm no one's match

allow me to die...

ijinkan kuberistirahat
*20042005 by ceftriaxone
physically and mentally tired

aku melukis kabut
dengan warna putih mencarut
terbelit mawar liar, tertusuk
dingin mencahar, selimutiku dengan handuk

betapa banyak kuingin
maka ijinkanlah
aku tak sesabar beringin tertempa angin
kokoh menghujam jantung tanah

sepinya di sini akankah usai
aku menangis di antara orang-orang ramai
dan gerimis masih merintik
oh biarkan aku istirahat walau sedetik!

through a year
*04052005 by ceftriaxone
title inspired from kenny loggin's "through the years"

and how can i possibly know?
since i've never expect a cross-link
i'm just following the flow
but there you are; wink
ask me to stay beside
and offer me your hand
with smile and eyes that bright
how can i possibly ban?

whatever, whichever path
guess i should've knew before
waking me up as a cold bath
or as suddenly in the shore
like i care? what else could i wish?
and you proposed me to be your part
as words won't describe how i cherish
in whatever, whichever heart

...just how glad to be there with you

that day was the first time i gave a flower bouquet to a man, and that was his first time too getting a flower bouquet as a present. this is the first poem chronicles i plan to write one every each year since that day. on that date ;)

the ordinary one, please
*01062005 by ceftriaxone
is it wrong for being ordinary?

live in ordinary way
that's what i always pray
try to make it happen, if i may
but they keep on pinching me, like an unfinished clay

give me the moon
i'll give you the sun
everyday i swirled in a typhoon
and think only run, run, run

ambition's demanding
orders keep on crawling
would you get out of my hell?
or i would kill you with my spell?

alone, building my ordinary castle
care no more, even the murmur was there
life will be better without battle
i will wait with my foot which bare

the truth is...
*11062005 by ceftriaxone
repeat repeat repeat ;p

the truth is, that i hate you
the truth is, that i love you
the truth is, that i love you more
the truth is, that i hate you even more

a blend of regrets and happiness
builds a bizarre thought
the truth is, i'm not anymore blessed
the truth is, i'm already trapped

the truth is, that i hate me
the truth is, that i love me
the truth is, that i love me more
the truth is, that i hate me more

hurricane, tuna cans, flew over the head
dreaming you banged by my own hand
the truth is, the hummingbirds are out there
the truth is, the evils ate your flesh