*it makes me remember the history lesson 'bout france revolution

this noon i was in the middle of browsing the networks while mtv in front of me showed up a new video-clip from coldplay; "viva la vida". it wasn't a nice video for me, it's just too simple... but somehow the tunes kept on rewinding in my head til now :)

i used to rule the world
seas would rise when i gave the word
now in the morning i sleep alone
sweep the streets i used to own 

i used to roll the dice
feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
listen as the crowd would sing
"now the old king is dead! long live the king!"

one minute i held the key
next the walls were closed on me
and i discovered that my castles stand
upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand 

i hear jerusalem bells are ringing
roman cavalry choirs are singing
be my mirror, my sword and shield
my missionaries in a foreign field

for some reason i can't explain
once you go there was never
never an honest word
and that was when i ruled the world

it was the wicked and wild wind
blew down the doors to let me in
shattered windows and the sound of drums
people couldn't believe what i'd become

revolutionaries wait
for my head on a silver plate
just a puppet on a lonely string
oh who would ever want to be king?

i hear jerusalem bells are ringing
roman cavalry choirs are singing
be my mirror, my sword and shield
my missionaries in a foreign field

for some reason i can't explain
once you go there was never
never an honest word
and that was when i ruled the world

i hear jerusalem bells are ringing
roman cavalry choirs are singing
be my mirror, my sword and shield
my missionaries in a foreign field

for some reason i can't explain
once you go there was never
never an honest word
and that was when i ruled the world

we may look dirty in front of God, but forgiveness is something He'll always give if we ask for it :) minal aidin wal faidzin, dear moslems... and may we all have enjoyful fasting!

today i went out a while after i came back from my last day in ophthalmology clinic, one of my friend treats us in a newly opened sundanese restaurant near saphir sq, and i'm invited... yum yum ;9 it was sooo hot outside! i sweat heavily and i can't stand to not wearing a very light tee n a big round sunnies, well... i know the sun in this city undoubtedly hotter than in my hometown, but just after i realize the outside-temp-o-meter in the dashboard shows a surprisingly scale... i thought, "no wonder i could be a boiled crab look-alike if i stay outside just for 5mins."

it's 36 degrees outside, people!! geez...

currently i'm in my last week of ophthalmology clinical rotation, i've finished all my case reflections, my exam case status has been approved, and already got my examiner's name, a famous senior doctor, a bl**dy smart, and hopefully a kind one (with my mark, of course ;p).

at first i thought i won't be so interested with ophthalmology, but after spending my time there for weeks, met with a of the r-e-a-l expert til i got freeze in the operating room til 8.30pm (yes, professor... and now i'm having rhinitis T.T), treated soo nicely with a friendly one in wates (in fact i'm sure she's the nicest among them all! *love you dr. sisca ^^), and found out an interesting fact that if an ophthalmologist doing a cataract surgery they'll get paid as much as an obstetrician doing a c-sec, but of course only with local anaesthesia, v-e-r-y small amount of blood, and 15-20mins duration for each surgery. hmmm... do i smell money or what?? hahahahahahahahahaha :D

oh well... pray for me plz... so i could pass my ophthalmology exam with the best mark i could achieve, and i could start my ramadhan fasting with unstoppable smile in my lips, entering the next neurology clinical rotation happily, and after that... surely, will be the hooolidaaayy!! yeaaayy!!

is poet was the theme for tonight? not on purpose, when i turned on the tv this noon and looked at the movie schedule, i found that "finding forrester" and "shakespeare in love" were listed in hbo signature in couple hours. i knew i already watched that movie for about 3-4 times, yet i'm still eager to watch it again ;)

"finding forrester" is a story 'bout a 16-years-old boy named jamal wallace, an ordinary high school student in bronx with bright future and also a talented basketball player, having a great passion on writing and literature. he coincidentally met a mysterious old man living in the top floor of a spooky apartement near his public high school when his friends dare him to sneak in to the old man's room one night and left his backpack there not in purpose. the next morning his bag was dropped off from the window where he sneaked in the night before, and later he found that all his writings in his note books were all being given comments all over the pages.

few days later jamal was offered to moved to a well-known private high school, regarding his remarkable marks on class and his talent in playing basketball. confused to be transposed from his former school to a new high-class private school and to answers all his questions about his writings, he constantly visited the mysterious old man, which later he found out that this mysterious old man is william forrester, a pulitzer-winning writer for his first novel "avalon landing". william helps jamal to work with his writings but gave him 2 rules: to not tell anyone who is he, and that all the writings jamal wrote in his place stay inside, thus not allowing him to show his writings except to william himself.

unfortunately jamal's amazing progress in writings makes his teacher suspect him copied his writings from someone else. of course, he became irritated, and later when he confronts his teacher in class, in an "i'll-tell-a-quote-you'll-tell-the-writer"-kinda-game, he won undoubtedly. his teacher became so angry and put him on threat that soon he'll arrange a meeting with the school board to kick him out from the school, unless he writes an apologize letter ;p as expected, jamal refuses.

at the same time william found out that one of his writing went missing, and questioned jamal angrily whether he was the one took it out or not. jamal admits, and said that he gave the writing to a publisher, for he was wondering why this pulitzer-winning writer never publish anymore books since his first novel. abruptly saying that william was just afraid to face a world that has completely different from the way it used to be in his era, jamal stated that he will never pulled himself back if he knew he was right.

the next day jamal and his basketball team are going to the final game of the high school basketball league. it was a real tight game between his team and the opposite team, til jamal gets a 2 free-throws and has to succeed both to win ...but unfortunately, he failed both.

encourage by jamal's bravery to face the fact that he fails those most important throws for his team, william came to the writing symposium in jamal's school and reads out jamal's letter which delivered to him the day after the final game. those outstanding words jamal wrote on the letter has made all the audience amazed, including the teacher.

but just after william said that it was written by jamal, he suddenly stopped clapping his hands and yelled that it won't change the plan for jamal facing the school board to be kicked out. fortunately, the wise director of the school admits jamal's remarkable talent in writings, and cancelled the board meeting. letting both william and jamal went out from the room with smile on their lips.

the day after, william went back to his homeland, scotland. two years later in his senior year, a lawyer came to jamal and told him a shocking news that william has passed away, and that he wanted jamal to take care all his belongings in his apartement, including all the books and the unpublished writings. such a huge gift for jamal, an unforgettable, and the most precious too ^^

well... now you know why i put this movie on my favorite list in friendster ;) also, since i assumed that most of people had watched "shakespeare in love" rather than "finding forrester", i do recommend this movie to watch! especially for those interested in writings... surely, it'll inspire you a lot, ain't it right??

today was an important day for me and my family, the day my one and only brother went abroad alone for the first time, having double degree program arranged by his faculty and erasmus uni in rotterdam, nederland. alone without any family around, only with a bunch of his friends... no doubt we were worried a lot 'bout him, of course, regarding his known behavior for his 19 years of life til this second, typical of the last child, if you get what i mean ;) the last 4 weeks were spent preparing all the thingies since his faculty seems "too care" with this double degree program, so it was all by ourselves from visa to departure, from residence permit prerequisites to the housing... for us, it's such a great wow plus a great dissappointment >:( i can't believe they arranged such an unprepared program!!

we're arrived at the airport at 9am, waiting 'bout 1 hour for the other members to come, and hoping that there're no more probs happen... but still, the f***ing luggage rules of max 32kgs for each baggage-through and max 5kgs for each cabin luggage made us repacked some of the stuffs in his already-tight baggage and throwing out some like a pair of suit, one winter vest, one jeans, and a goddamn thick book, before mixed it up with his other friend's cabin luggage to distribute the weight evenly. and it definitely makes us hungry... ;p

when the time has come to board the airplane, few parents--mothers, especially--are cried and hug their soon-to-be going child, including my mom. i knew this could be hard for her, for knowing my brother's behavior all this time, yet she has to let him go to prove that he can do what previously he can't do. but the jetplane's engine reminds us that this is one of a phase of life we must learn, that we'll wave our hands in order to hug'em when they're back. maybe that's the reason i didn't cry... (or maybe because i'm not a mother yet?? hahaha :D)

i'll see you in the upcoming new year, bro!

well then, bye-bye my big fat bandit cat...! promise me you'll be allright, pray well, eat well, and don't embarass me by spraying everywhere and scratching your seat in the plane!! ;p

*the title means: i will miss him

last 01082008 was an important day for me: i met with the girls from my junior high!! ^^ omg... it's been 8 years since we're graduate from junior high, when they came to my eyes i couldn't believe the fact that i saw'em all... it was too happy to be true. one of'em brought her collections of our vintage photos, yeah that kinda photos when we still wore loose uniform shirts, plain face without any make-ups, short socks, keds... and act like weirdos! (if you see our photos then you'll get what i mean ;p) hahaha *LOL* we really missed those times that we laugh for every photos taken, we really do ;)

ahh... girls, i'll looking forward to our reunion next year!! i love you, i'll miss you, always... ;*

*last but not least, bye-bye my lovely holiday...

from 29072008 til 30072008 my family planned to spend a night in safari garden hotel, since at the same our beloved first niece was here--imported by his smart mom ;p--having holiday with his grandparents--my uncle and auntie. surprisingly, 6 families of my mom's siblings could make it!! so there i am, happily surrounded by my family, whole lot of my cousins and a niece... it's been quite a long time since i enjoyed this kinda holiday with my big family ^^ plus, my soon-to-be sis-in-law came from padang! even though she caught a cold the night when she arrived but she managed to catch up with us the next morning, of course, with some drugs and antibiotic in her bag... but still it's ok.

weeks before, my mom went to taman safari together with a workgroup of his office, having a leisure time after a meeting. she told us about a performance held there called "wild wild west: cowboy show", she said it was awesome, funny, with real horses, ducks, sheeps, eagle, and even mouse! so that right after we passed the entrance to the main amusement park we drove straight to the highest part of the hill to watch the show. before the gate was opened, we're being entertained with a small-but-nice country band wearing cowboys-like stuffs, and 15 mins before the show we're able to try using the cowboy leash, spankin' it!!

unfortunately we're not allowed to use video camera during the show--or else the security staff will warn us--so that taking photos were the only thing permitted, but trust me the show was really worth to watch!! the stage performance was nice, the actors and actresses make-up were good, two-thumbs-up for the combos of action and comedy, and not forgetting the real animals!! they're sooo damn cute!!! from ducks, horses, dogs, cats, mouse, sheeps, and eagle... it was outstanding!! i bet not only children, but you'll like it too ;)

oh, and btw... my happy holiday was even more completed with a happy news: my cousin's getting married next month!! i'm sooo happy for her so that i immediately messaging all my cousins 'bout it ^^ kyaaaa...

the soon-to-be bride ^^

*in memoriam of eyang mardiyati busono and eyang busono

2 weeks ago, at 13072008 to be exact, my lil' grandmother (younger sister of my grandmother) passed away. years before she was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer and had radical mastectomy and a series of chemotherapy. my grandmother also had metastasized breast cancer, in fact that was the et causa of her death. my mom said that unlike my lil' grandmother, she had unilateral mastectomy, but at that time the tumor had already spread to lungs and vertebrae.

my lil' grandfather was famously known as a caring man and love her wife in an extraordinary way--one of a real gentlemen in the whole family--with his one unique habit of kissing his wife 50 times before and after sleep. after she underwent the radical mastectomy, she never want to see her post-op scar, since for her it was too scary. and it was his husband, for every night and day, applying the oinment medications to her scar, and still kiss her 50 times before and after sleep. there are no single women and girls in the whole family not envy her for having such a gentleman as her husband, including me.

fortunately, 2 weeks before my lil' grandmother passed away, me, my brother, and my cousin went to her house in bulaksumur after we received message from my mom which told us that from the last medical control found the tumor had metastasized to the femur and around pelvic bone so that she's no longer able to even stand and walk like usual, and spend the rest of her time lying in bed. when we met her that day, she greets us with her lovely smile and chat with us happily, asking about our parents and our study... and telling us story that makes me surprise: for the last 1 month, when she was no longer able to stand and need to stay in bed, it was her husband--my lil' grandfather--doing all the things for her! feed her, preparing her drugs, help her to bath, changing clothes, wearing adult pad, even he do the toilet himself... and he still kiss her 50 times before and sleep! when we asked him why he didn't call a nurse to take care of her, he replied, "it's to take care of her, i life in this world. as long as i could done it, i'll do it myself. if i'm not, then my life become useless."

....................
*speechless for a moment*

at the day she passed away, his old and wrinkled face couldn't hide his sadness, his cloudy eyes stare straight, and looked empty. we all know how he loves his wife so much, that they're both needed each other, that he always protective to her, how he cares about her... and now that he lost his half part, i couldn't imagine how sad he is...

2 weeks later after her death, at 27072008 to be exact, my lil' grandfather passed away, went after his beloved wife. heart-attack, most probably. it is said that he was founded smile, more beautiful than his wife's when she passed away. i was sooo sad i couldn't help myself from a silent cry... for i clearly remember the last words he said when i came to his house 4 weeks ago.

you went after her, i know... you're both my real forever-and-after-not-even-death-will-do-us-apart couple, you've showed me the true meaning of love til the end...

...and i've lost one of the most gentlemen i've ever met.

there she goes...

...and he went after her

ahh... finally it's holiday! i couldn't hold my lips from smiling since i arrived on soekarno-hatta int'l airport at 25072008 noon, and greet my mom, my brother and his friends happily ^^ it feels sooo good to inspire my hometown's air--even though it's polluted--since for me it smells like a freshly-baked-from-the-oven holiday ;9

on 26072008 morning i saw a new entertainment facilities in fX sudirman called "atmostfear" reported in the news, it's a 72m high sliding tunnel built in the middle of the plaza, down from 7th to 1st floor. it is said that there are only 3 "atmostfear" in the world: indonesia, australia, and... (?) i forgot ;p it looks fun, and of course... i want to try it!! so i told my parents and the others that i wanna try that "atmostfear", and at 10am we drive ourselves there. to experience this "atmostfear", we have to shop at least IDR 1 in any stores in fX, then exchange our payment bill to have a lucky draw to get the "atmostfear" ticket--so we might be unlucky enough to get it ;p--or else we have to shop at least IDR 100,000 to choose having the ticket freely without drawing *smart marketing idea, huh?* after bought some foods, drinks, and stuffs we finally manage to get enough ticket for 5 of us: me, my brother, 2 friends of my brother, and my niece. we went up to the 7th floor, having a short-time in a queue, then wear all the safety equipments, and we're ready to slide!! ^^

for me, it's not too scary actually... even though i realize that some of the safety equipments are already torn, but n'mind! it's the sensation itself that i'm looking for ;p sliding in a special matress down from 7th to 1st floor in 12 secs, i kept my eyes opened for i don't wanna miss any seconds to know how it feels, and even though i was rolling all over as soon as i slide out from the tunnel... it was really, really fun!! ^^ for those not having acrophobia, this "atmostfear" is recommended to try!! ;)

me, post atmostfear-ing ^^